Friday night...

...4 1/2 days without smoking...not even smelling smoke! Actually, I guess that's the thing that makes this the easiest...I live alone, and nobody else is around smoking, so I can not smell it! Kev's dad went to WalMart with me today, and I went crazy in the candy aisle...ya know, Twizzlers, Jolly Ranchers, all that important stuff...


Oh, I got one hell of a surprise Sunday morning! The phone rang, and I looked at the caller id, and it said "unavailable" (well, it didn't say it...I had to read it...). I usually just ignore it when it doesn't tell who it is, but for some reason, I answered it, and it was a guy from my high school class of 1983 (!), who is doing a major part of planning our 25 year reunion!! Holy crap!! That was wild...he was someone who was friendly with everyone in school, but in a totally different group of people than me..(he wasn't a 'stoner', I was!). So that was neat, to catch up with him, find out what he's doing, where he is (Cleveland!). He said he met his wife 23 + years ago in Georgia when he was there, then they came back here...I said "she must really love you, to give up GA weather for Cleveland!!" So that's gonna be this Labor Day weekend...I said I might be there, but, honestly, I doubt if I will be. Not the least of the reasons is Tif getting married in Nov!
Seriously, it is SO damn cold, damp, windy, etc outside!!
Oh, yeah...Happy Leap Day. Or Sadie Hawkins Day...which means this is the day that women can ask a guy to marry them...(if they're stupid...).
God, I truly, truly want a smoke right now!! GRRRRRRR!!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

new life...

...Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices (minions!) tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...



...hahaha!! This is SO Truman!! Naahh...Trumie would never think like this about ME!! (I'm a super demi-god when it comes to fooling myself..).

Well, I'm doing it..I've been cutting down on cigarettes during the last couple weeks...Sunday it was 5 a day...and I had my last one at noon yesterday... :-/ ! Oh, holy shit, it SUX!! I NEVER thought I'd miss it this bad!! But, it's for a good reason...no, it's not my healh (like I give 2 shits about that...). It's just so I can afford Tif's wedding dress! Figure it out...I usually go thru a carton a week...cartons cost 40.00....x 4 = $160.00 a month...definitely worth a few weeks of hell to quit....food already tastes better, my sense of smell is 100% better!
I could've broken down bigtime, & asked Joe to bring me a pack tonite, when he called, but I didn't even do that! I sure did whine about it, though...
I just saw a cool little sign in a catalog...it says..."If you want to make God smile, tell him your plans..." ...geez, that would make anyone smile!!
So, Kim called me the day Mom's obituary was in the paper. First time we've talked since Sept '06. She was crying about Mom when she called, then we were both doing the 'girly-thing'. Crying, apologized, straightened some stuff out...no, it's not perfect, but, you know what? Besides Tif & Joe, it's the strongest relationship I have...and even longer than either of those!! So, besides my brothers...it's worth fighting for, cuz it's the strongest thing I have to hang onto in the 'real world' (you know, x...meatspace!!).
Speaking of brothers...I'm actually gonna stop calling "Psycho" Psycho...from here I'm gonna refer to him as G..Yeah, I'm being soft, but, well...we're getting along all of a sudden...I think it took this slap in the face for us to realize "I don't have any parents anymore".
So, I'm gonna see about buying a burial plot up in the 'family's' cemetary...not owned by our family, but it's where all my family is on my mom's side...and the whole rest of the county, I think, belongs to my family...I know that every time you go by a house up there "Uncle D lives there...Aunt J lives there...Uncle B and Cousin C live there...Cousin L & his wife live there...". Yeah...that's the area I belong. Of course, after I'm dead, it's only a body...for all I care, you can stick a bone up my ass and let a dog drag me away...
All right...I have to get off of being all depressed & shit...give me another day or two...And why, oh, why, did I EVER choose that week, the week before Mom died to quit smoking?? Grrrrrr!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Friday, Feb 22, 2008

Mom passed away Feb 16, 2008. It was actually peaceful for her, I believe. She was in the hospital, and the brain cancer had come back, and they also did a cat scan and found that it was in her kidneys, liver, etc. We were talking about getting hospice, but her nurse said to wait a few days, she wasn't needing the decision made right away. So Tif and I sat on either side of her bed, talking quietly, and giggling a little bit with her about, ummm, the game 'Trouble', the card game 'Rack-O', 'Scrabble', the stuff she had liked to make, "Pigs in Blankets" (I always hated that...It was a huge smoked ham she cut up and rolled the pieces in cabbage leaves. Ew...sorry Mom! Nothing personal!

We were there holding her hands for her last two hours, but, like I said, she was at peace, as we all were. We were blessed to have that last 2 hours to talk to her, and tell her what a great job she had done as a Mom! (and a Grandma!, as far as Tif said, and I agree!).

I found the pictures above on the internet, and, amazingly, they both look like some of the barns and sheds on what used to be my Grandma H's farm, where Mom was born and grew up...Now it belongs to Mom's brother, Uncle D, who is Boo's dad!

This is very special to me, also...Tif is definitely my go-to girl! She took me up to the funeral home with her Monday night, and she did Mom's hair and nails for her, and at the funeral she read something she had written about them when she was little! She made me very proud!

Okay...that's all for now....

Libby

Valentine's Day...

...used to be a fun holiday...

Sunday the 10th!!

Man, good thing this little kitty doesn't have a covered litterbox like Truman!! She'd be 'lost and gone forever, my darlin' Clementine...'

This would be a good car alarm, wouldn't it?? Reminds me of the time Tif and I were lost a little bit out in the country, and went past a car with a COW laying on top of it!! Hooves would even be harder to climb with than paws, you know? lol!



Okay, everybody, it's for real officially now! Tif & one of her bridesmaids & I went out yesterday and found THE DRESS!! And she only tried on 4 dresses~!
It's a perfect size 4, and it looks like it was designed for her and fitted to her! The women at the bridal store all came in and all have the same opinion...'course, they probably work on commission, too...they said they can't see where it would need any alterations or anything, it's long for her, but they said this brand, you can order in a petite at the same price, and it's 3 inches shorter, which is perfect! So...that's where any income tax I get is going!! To me, I WANT to pay for her wedding dress...that's kind of her "launch" off into the rest of her life, ya know? I never had a wedding dress per se. The first time I got married, well, it wasn't like a fancy wedding or anything, although it was in a church.
It was really funny, they brought her a 'crinoline' to try on, under the dress, to pouf it out, and everything. And the lady that worked there had to be on her knees behind Tif under the dress to make sure it hung just exactly right and everything...and as if that wasn't funny enough, she crawled out from there and said "Oh well, honey, at least you're one of the customers that wears underwear..". Eeeeeewwwww!! The worst part of that? You don't BUY a crinoline...you RENT it!! Aw, c'mon!! That just creeps the shit out of me!! It would you too, if you saw the makeup stains on the dresses sometimes! lolol!!!
So I want to get it ordered in the next couple weeks or so, cuz it'll take 12 to 15 weeks to get it. Wow...that's all I can do is sit here and whisper to myself over and over...wow....
I was up most of the night watching "Single White Female", it came on around midnight. Good movie! And "You've Got Mail" just ended...before that it was "Dumb and Dumber"...and in between, I'm reading one of the Mary Higgins Clark mystery books...yup...it's been one of the most memorable weekends of my life! Oh yeah...Tif also took me over to show me through their new house, and it is beautiful! Big backyard, big deck, split level 3 bedrooms...they've already ripped all the kitchen cabinets out, and showed me the ones they're going to order, and they're in the middle of scraping the wallpaper in the big bathroom upstairs.
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

It's Friday!!

Woohoo! Throw Momma From the Train is on!! I LOVE this movie!! My yittle Tif PoohBear got me hooked on this when she was 5, for God's sake!! Between this and Cinderella, our evenings were covered!! And I just happened to think...we lived in an upstairs apartment, the stairs were just regular wood, completely uncovered, but they did have a handrail....
...thank God I never really treated her like Momma in the movie!! She'dve pushed my ass straight down those stairs!! And the guy in the downstairs apt would've come outside and said "What happened?" And Tif would've looked up at him with those big blue/green eyes and sniffed a couple times and said "Mommy fall down and go boom, Henry..." hahaha!
I do remember us calling each other "Owen" sometimes! Just to see who could sound more like Momma!! Some good times!!
I really have to give a great big high-five to all the people at Time Warner Cable here!! They had set up an appointment to hook me up with the digital phone service here, Feb 5 between 4 & 7! And I still have the same phn number, was never without service, and it is just like a regular phone connection, they just had to change the connections of some wires in the box outside, the jacks & modem in here, and...voila! I'm off Verizon, and on TWC, which is a lot cheaper, has all the features, and ...FREE LONG DISTANCE from my home phone! Yeah, I know a lot of people get that with their cell phns, but...I'm old, remember? So, even not counting long distance, I'll save $50/month!! Wow! I NEED THIS!! And I know if the electricity goes off, my phone goes off...so what? That's why I have a cell phone, just for emergencies. And, unbelievably, one of their supervisors from a different town stopped over the next day to check on the cust svc I got! Sheesh!! Who does that?? Yup...I'm a cheapskate...out of necessity. I was as soon as I was 18, and moved out on my own with Tif...if I didn't have the cash, I didn't buy it! And, honestly, I don't mind it!
I read a quote by Arthur Conan Doyle last night that I'll never forget again..."Character is shown by behavior". As a matter of fact, maybe I should have it tattooed on me!!
I'm busy getting most of the stuff straightened up in here cuz I really want to hire someone to come in here and wash all the walls and everything, for spring cleaning, so I'm hoping that Tif knows someone who needs a job!! She's got WAY too much to do right now...she called last night and was scraping the wallpaper off a bathroom! That's gonna be a big job.

I have one question, if anyone out there can tell me what their theory is...why are people so Goddamn mean and sneaky? And then totally lie about it, like you'll be too stupid to figure anything out? Come on...that's total sociopathic behavior, thinking you're smarter than everybody else...kinda like "Scott Peterson-ish"...is it in the water? Or just society as a whole? And don't say "I didn't used to be like that..this or that person made me like that!" Funny, but most of the people I've heard do this are guys, not women...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Busy Super-everything weekend!

A stunning multi-generational family photograph...'cept I think there might be a couple generations in the middle that aren't there...










It's been a pretty neat weekend...maybe cuz I haven't done much of anything. Just read and, laundry, watch tv....I guess that's what old people call "puttering around the house". I guess that makes me an "old person"...oh well...you live and learn...that's the difference between a woman and a girl. right?

Oh, I have a "Mom update"! She's out of the nursing home and living in an senior apartment complex, and likes having an apartment to herself, not a bed with room-mates that come and go! I'm gonna go out and see the apartment this week, it sounds nice. I know Bro and wife and some of their kids were in and out of there before she went in, just to kinda furnish it and stuff, because once when I called his cell, he was out there with his tape measure and they were arranging the furniture and everything!...and, I'm not really sure, but I think it has a lot more than I ever would've thought a retirement community would...she even has an aide or nurse or someone come to her three times a day to take her down to the dining room to eat, and stop by to give her her pills in the morning! Wow, she's in a place that's really going to be good for her when she starts meeting some of the other people. But I absolutely hate the fact that I can't get out there whenever I want to go, I have to get a bus...but...I'm at least able to call her every day or two...she even has her home phone number now, we got it transferred last week...and I know my mom, that's just one step that makes it feel like 'home' to her. It just, well, seems so wrong that I'm sitting here wanting her to make friends and all that...it's just not fair to her that anybody else should have to take care of that for her! You know, I don't mind doing it, I wish I could do more, I just hate that life gets to be like this in the end...but, I know she's got an active mind, she reads as much if not more than I do...she just would never read, like Stephen King, or any stuff like that...she's more into stories about people in England, just calm, peaceful stories.

I called Boo Sunday morning, and she told me something hilaious! She said 'I was gonna tell you! I saw W last week in WalMart, in one of the towns up there' (W is the boyfriend that Mouse and I had, off and on more or less!). Boo never liked him much, always was telling me I could get better...yeah...not Mr Right, he was Mr Right Now, and, at certain points in life, that's what you need. Anyway, she said he had a little girl (around 7ish) with him (a daughter???)...and we both kinda giggled at that. Then she said 'Yup...she's quite the little pudge...'. That's amazing, because he was skinny, like me! She must've read my mind, cuz she said 'and he still looks exactly the same as he did 20 years ago (oh, how fair is that?), skinny, same glasses, same hair, everything! We just kinda talked about the Super Bowl get-together she was making cookies for, and other stuff, and then got off the phone. Last night I called Mouse and told her about it, and she got a helluva laugh out of it too! Especially when I said 'He has a kid?? Eeeeewwww..'. She told me years ago that he'd called her to see if she wanted to go out for a beer...and she had said 'Well, no, I can't...I'm about 8 months pregnant, it probly wouldn't look good' hahahahaha! Come to think of it, I got an email last week from another friend up there I used to work with, telling me about running into someone from the store...odd, isn't it? Almost like I feel like I'm sitting here with a spiderweb of knowledge over the whole part of Ohio...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

WABBIT, WABBIT!!

Wow, yesterday was amazing...most of it was, anyway...
Tif's not doing hair anymore right now...she quit a couple weeks ago, & she's a leasing agent for a new apartment complex right outside of town! I went out there for a few hours yesterday, to see her office, all the people she works with, some apartments...they're really nice, sliding door off the bedroom to the pond, lots of room in the 1-bedroom apt, walk-in closets, the only drawback that would hold me back is (well, besides the fact of this house) is that it's out of town, and I wouldn't be able to just hop on my scooter and ride around here in town...and, to me, that's unacceptable.

Hmmm....ok, ok...yeah, I just dug this picture out...Tiffany drew it in 2nd grade...
I crack my ass up! Sorry..had to!

The offices of the apartments is huge! It's not just a bunch of boxed off offices or anything, it's kinda like one big room. Which, at the moment, is great...but, you know, what happens sooner or later when one person's mad at another? You know, no matter what you might think, it's gonna happen someday!! But for the moment, it's neat! Tif has their Jack Russell mix in there with her cuz her boss has her Yorkie...oh my God, they're a hoot! But they don't cause trouble or anything, they get along really good! So, after yesterday, we were both excited cuz Tif & fiance sign papers on the house tonight (they did! woohoo!~!)...
The realtor was as happy as they were, hugs, etc, Lowe's gift card, cuz she wished every couple could be that happy. After they got done at the lawyer's office, they were going over to the house to meet some friends & go out to dinner tonight. The phone rang righjt after she had told me what was up, so I figured she was happy & jumping around. Ummm...she was jerked to beat hell, they all were! Cuz within 10 minutes of signing for the house, they go over there and...it's flooded cuz a pipe burst from last night's weather!! At least they caught it, and turned the water off...she just needed to come over and get some towels...so the house isn't flooded to the roof or anything...I don't wanna hear the words 'bad luck' here, or anything! Nahh, it's all okay, a maintenance guy from the apartments came & checked, it just needs a new pipe, and, well, she called and came over because "Mom!! Can I come over and borrow a lot of towels, please??" My poor little Tif-Pooh-Bear!! And I heard her mutter as she stomped out the door with an armload of towels..."Guess I know where the Lowe's gift card is going..."

When I got home and crawled in bed last night, I grabbed one of my old books to read , "Soylent Green"....and that's what I've been doing for the last 24 hours! That book is so weird, especially during this election year! I'm trying to figure out which political party is spoken of as being the bad guys here. At one point you just know it's the Repulicans, the next thought is "No, it's the Democrats, this is what happens when the government thinks they're the ones who need to take care of us, cuz we're too stupid to do it ourselves...but, either way, it's 1999, all birth-control is against the law, and the USA and everywhere else is overpopulated, almost everybody is homeless, living in rusted out cars that have been there for years, cuz we ran out of oil forever ago, there's no heat or electric, and about all women have about 10 kids, that are all sick cuz it's GOOD to have babies, all the old people are half-dead, but our medicine has been good enough to keep them alive instead of them dying when their bodies wear out...and, New York City has 35 million people living in it...and there are almost 7 billion in the US...
cheerful reading, huh? This is honestly one of the best books I ever got off ebay! It's actually a screenplay of the movie Soylent Green (wait'll ya figure out what that is!), called "Make Room, Make Room!" from like 1940's or 50's!
Then the other night I woke up about 4 am, and the movie "Philadelphia" with Tom Hanks was just starting...so I had to stay awake and watch it!! And cry, of course...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!