Now...how lame is this?? We all thought he was crouched down hiding in a cave from us, when, in fact, he was living in a 3 story mansion in Pakistan...
From: Bin Laden, Osama [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AMTo: CavematesSubject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols ok for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Love you lots.
Yeah...now this is funny as hell!!
I just want to say congratulations to Barack Obama on making the call for our Navy Seals to take this turd out! I'm sure that has been the hardest decision he's made as commander-in-chief. But, I think that one decision that he made to let the guys do the job they've trained for for years, has been his best one ever. Still don't agree with his politics, but, I'm happy he found the nuts to do this...