Friday, April 25, 2008

luck? a blessing? don't know...

Okay, everybody, I have to shamefully admit something. Truman's picture that's on here is also at Oh, I'm hanging my head in shame. Would this count as 'prostituting' my cat out?
And, wow,!

Well, I told you I have dr appts nonstop for, it seems like forever. I was trying yesterday to have Dr Stone's assistant with her in Cleveland, set me up with iv steroids...not a f'in' chance! She said that she and Dr Stone haven't seen me since Mar 07 (like, WTF, do they think I'm better now?) grumble, grumble...but she had the appt people call me first thing this morning, and the earlieat they had for me was MAY 23!! Of course I did some of my most pathetic voices on her, said my ms has NEVER been this bad in 14 years, I fell out of my wheelchair twice this week for God's sake!! But nope, she said that;s it. ...I got off the phone & just ranted & raved, cried, begged God to take me home (my idea is, if He did it, it wouldn't be suicide per se.) Neither would any handy axe murderer. They seem to be in short supply these days...
Anyway, I called the psychologist I see here every day (Mon-Fri, 6 hrs a day!'s a group thing) and told him I couldn't make it for awhile, I WANT to fix my head, but my body needs it more right now! He understood that 100%, which was great!
After that, I called Dr Stone's receptionist, & told her I couldn't get an appt til May 23...I had told her yesterday what my symptoms were, & why I REALLY wanted the steroids now. Robin is the most amazing receptionist I know!! She said, "AAwwww, Libby, give me an hour to work some of my magic. I'll calll you back, okay? Just sit tight (I was gonna jog around the block, but...)" She called me in half an hour, and now my appt's next Wednesday at 10:45!! I screamed Oh, Robin, I LOVE YOU!!! Wouldn't you??
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

????have you ever looked back at a high school picture of yourself...

Yeah, the little baby kitten's cute...but I'm still partial to Truman...

...con't from title...

You just HAVE to wonder where that bright-eyed, bushy tailed, happy teenager went...Is this what life is supposed to leave you like? Somehow, I don't think this is what God had in mind for us. I can understand when people have been 'used up' by life, drugs, all that. But there are a whole helluva lot of us out here that used to be described as "joyous", and always laughing. What happens to THAT? I don't neccessarily mean me, per se, just anyone. I know what the hell happpened to me...but what about all the other people who seem to have lost their joy at being , just, alive? I swear I'm going to feel that again, no matter what it takes...nope, no crack either (lol!). I'm pretty sure a shot of iv steroids would help. But I want to feel good on my own first! Yeah, I'm already trying about everything I can think of, besides ECT (that scares the shit out of me!), or a frontal lobotomy (hey sj, this is for you...I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!). No, I don't know if I'm just seeing the wrong people, or what, but not many people seem to be walking around just smiling for apparently no reason at all! I think the last time I saw that was a guy at a Red Wings hockey game, who was just standing next to us, smiling to himself, and swaying back and forth like he was hearing music that nobody else could hear. And, no, this was before the time of bluetooth things, or anything like that!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Monday, April 21, 2008

dr appts all over the place!

Would she be the new "crocodile hunter"?
That cat looks exactly like Truman!!

And this one is just scary!!

Okay, I've been having weird realistic dreams lately. The other night, I dreamed that I was about 10, and up at Kyle & Joel's house (my cousins)Joel was a few years older than Kyle, he was killed when I was 15, cleaning his gun after hunting, it went off and killed him. That was the first person I knew and loved that died, unneccesarily. I'll never forget him, he was , well, I know this will sound strange to say about an 18 year old guy, but he was just naturally kind. I'll never forget how nice & patient he was with me & Boo on the Sundays we went to Grandma's, and we'd be bored and nag him to do something with us, so he's take us upstairs (us little kids weren't allowed up there by ourselves...ever since we soaped the windows up there on the inside...remember?). So he'd take us up there and let us look for comic books, or coloring books, or real books. Or he'd get Kyle & have him come outside with us, and we'd all play tag or hide-and-seek. There really weren't many places besides Grandma's farm that were better to play hide-and-seek at, with hundreds of acres, creeks, patches of woods, a big tree that had fallen down into a creek a long time ago (we called it Sewer Road, cuz it stunk there), the big red barn, the chicken, just anywhere!! It was always fun to play with "the big kids". (Kyle was about 2 years younger than Joel, and I was 1 year older than Boo, and 2 or 3 younger than Kyle).

Also in my dream, I was up at K & J's house, it was on the outskirts of their town, and they had a huge 2-or 3-story barn.On rainy days, we'd play in the barn there, because they had made the second story into a basketball court, and it was FUN!! ...or we'd play hide and seek there, their backyard was huge, and the barn was part of the hide and seek area!

The other dreams were more like 'memories', of when I was a produce manager...the most fun job in the world, in the 80's!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Friday, April 18, 2008


What a disapproving look!! I thought my Grandma (Mom's Mom) had that patented, but, obviously, she's been duped!

And, now, THIS is just WAY CUTE!!

For some reason, Boo & I ALWAYS got that disapproving look. She especially got it when she entered & won the Greased Pig Catching contest at the county fair up there. Grandma acted like she was humiliated in front of all her friends from church, but, you know what? I bet she was secretly proud!!
Actually, they named him Pork Chop, and ate him a few weeks later!! lololol!
I still remember the time I stayed with Boo when we were little, on a Friday night. We got up Saturday and watched our Bugs Bunny cartoons, and ate Cheerios for breakfast. Then Boo's mom (my aunt, of course) took us to the grocery store. Boo & I were acting really goofy & stupid, the way you do when you're staying with a cousin you have fun with, but don't see enough of. We went past somebody's shopping cart, and Boo, for some reason, decided to pick the box of Cheerios out of that lady's cart...while she was looking!...and announce "Hmmmmm...THIS looks familiar!!" Only a couple of 7-year olds...
I have a question. To anybody who's ever been in or to a psych ward at a hospital...just because of what it's called, you'll automatically think a certain way about the people, and if you ever talk to them or listen to them, you'll find they're exactly like you! Which begs the question...are they normal, or are you psychotic? Just wondering...
Okay! It was finally sunny & warm today, and I took my scooter out finally! I am so out of practice with that thing. Not that I drove it bad, it just wore my ass out!! I went to Certified and spent my $25.00 gift card from Christmas...on CHOCOLATE!! And other assorted know, blue & white gummy sharks, candy necklaces, frosted animal crackers, Fritos, etc.
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

more thinking....

Okay, I'm eating Nutter Butters 24/7. (In between meals, of course.) This should help!

Last night my 2 brothers and I went to Mom & Dad's house, and we started kinda dividing some of the furniture up.We got through some parts of some rooms...not far, but 4 of the couches, 2 bedroom sets, some hutches, some tables, one rocking chair, a big screen tv, etc...Still have most of the first floor to do, though...then the basement! Tif & I brought home a huge 50 lb box of my old school papers, reports, birthday cards, EVERYTHING from when I was in the first through 7th grade!! Boy, did we get a huge laugh out of that! And, might I add...all of the school papers had A+, Excellent, Perfect, etc on them! Tif even brought me home my baby bracelet from the hospital when I was born, tonight! The other night when I was over there with Bro & bigger bro, I drank a beer and actually felt better than I have in years! I even had better balance!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

i missed april fool's day!!! oops!~

'Welcome to the Hotel can check out any time you just can never leave".

Love that song...'course, did the Eagles ever have a bad song?

See the picture of the kitten & the dog? I'm hearing that in the background right now, with Truman and Lilly...nahhh, they actually get along pretty long as there's no physical contact from Lilly...then she gets hissed at!

Been away for a week...I guess everybody deserves a 'break' sometimes, right?
Lilly just got new toys...and a couple of them are stuffed animals! She has a pink teddy bear that squeaks, and a too, of course! And we're all trying to teach her the difference between when we say 'Get me the squid!' and 'Get me the bear!' She's getting pretty good at it, I must say...we're actually jealous of my uncle's dog (Boo's dad)...uncle gave his dog a plastic elephant once, and would throw it and say "Get me the pachyderm!" And he always does. Impresses the shit out of people who don't realize how our family is with words! We're all crazy about words.
Okay, I'm gonna go, I'm really trying to keep to my schedule of going to bed by midnight, and eating three meals a day (I weighed 92 lbs last Monday, 94 lbs today, so I'm going in the right direction....
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!