Thursday, October 27, 2005


This is a current picture of my house I grew up in on the right (in 2003)...on the left is the birthday present Kev's brother Ken gave me a few years ago for my birthday (which is a week before Christmas!)

So, that's it with my pictures from my old house. Not that I don't have tons, but this blog's not for that. The only important one I didn't put on here was the one of the sign Kim & I made & painted in 1980, for my 'party room' on the third floor. We hung it on the wall then, and when we all went back in 2003, IT WAS STILL HANGING UP THERE!! They said that, somehow, it seemed to WANT to stay there! Now, THAT, in itself, is rather spooky!
So I tried to post yesterday, but, 'blogger wouldn't let me'! Grrrrrrrrrrr!!
It was about how the whole 'zero tolerance rule' for elementary schools, well, I think all it is is a blanket rule for teachers to not have to make their own decisions!! Because that might be too hard for them to make the judgement call! But the story I read about a while ago...about the 11 year old that was taken away in handcuffs for drawing a picture of a gun!! No shit!! Holy crap! Next thing you know, kids won't be allowed to play tag, because the person that's "it" feels discriminated against...oh, wait, I guess some schools have already gone there, haven't they? This whole thing about making boys more 'sensitive' is going to make for some piss-poor, wimpy-ass men!! Sheesh!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

more old stuff...

These are some of the (hundreds!) of pictures I took when I went through this house again in 2003, 2 days short of 20 years from the day I moved out!!

Damn!! I'm trying to get a picture on here that I took of the outside of this house that day, too...but for some reason blogger won't let me...yet. So anyway, this is the stained glass window on the landing between the first & second floors, and the other is the height marks my mom made for me on her closet door, and they didn't paint over them, said they were part of the history of the house!
My grandma's house (again) pictures...just good memories...out in Grandma's barn, which had 2 floors in it, it was enormous...and scary...shhhh, don't tell anybody I said that! The top floor was the haymow, and the bottom was for the few cows, sheep, pigs, etc. They never had a bunch of animals on the farm, mostly, the farm was corn, wheat, etc. And sometimes when I stayed there overnight, Grandma had me gather the eggs from the chicken coop (at 5 am!)...although, for a 6 year old kid, those things can be awful aggressive. And if they don't stand up & say "Here you go, little girl!", I was supposed to reach my hand under them, and take the egg! How intimidating was that for a puny little 'city girl'? At least Grandma milked the cows, and never tried to teach me that!!
Once, my uncle (Mom's little brother) got a huge, thick rope and tied it up to one of the rafters at the top of the barn. Then my cousins & I just had to climb the ladder up to the haymow, grab the rope, and swing!! And when you swung on it, you'd go out the barn door. Man, was that a lot of fun!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Monday, October 24, 2005


You will not believe this...this is the house I grew up in! This picture was in the newspaper a few years ago! Lived there from 1966 to 1983! I'm not exactly sure when this picture was taken, but the guy all the way on the right lived there with his mom & dad, the best I can figure out, it's around 1921 (the picture!), and the guy on the right was our 29th president's secretary! The president's house is right behind this one. I learned how to ride a two-wheel bike in the parking lot of his house, which by then was a tourist attraction! So, I know you're all wondering...the window Kim peed outta is on the third floor on the right side!!
And (off the subject), when I was that age (3-17?), we always went to my Grandma's (Mom's mom) every Sunday, after we had the big Sunday dinner that Mom made. It was about an hour away, out in the country. And I always had a lot of fun up there! Mostly because my cousins were always there, too. My cousin Lori, who is about 2 years younger than me, lived right around the corner of Grandma's road, but I could never call her to have her come over, cuz her phone number was a long distance extension from Grandma's, even though there was only, like, an acre of land between the properties! And long distance phone calls were expensive in the early 70's!
My cousins & I were always doing stuff to get in trouble up there, though. In the winter we went sledding down the hill behind the house. And in the summer, we always played "War" (I had older boy cousins, too), and we always used any sticks that were shaped like guns to shoot each other (would never be allowed to happen now, huh?), and one Christmas I got, from my Mom & Dad, a leather holster that held two cap guns!! So...I was known as the 'spoiled brat' after that! Once, we were playing in the summer, and found a Radio Flyer blue wagon in the barn. We decided to all pile in it and ride down the big hill of Grandma's road. We got halfway down, and my aunt (Mom's sister) came out the door, and yelled, 'There's 100 acres back there to play in, and you can get out of the road and play in it!!' And, once when Lori & I were mad at K ( a boy cousin...he's about 3 years older than me), we walked all over Grandma's yard backwards (it was winter), so our footprints looked like we were going the opposite way! He told me a couple years ago, that he was watching us & laughing, the whole time!! Jerkwad!! (haha, if you're reading this, I truly didn't mean it!). Okay, done.
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

All kindsa stuff!

Well, I WAS gonna put a Halloween-type picture on here, but...blogger won't let me!! So I'll put it on later...
I'm thinking a LOT today...first thing is - I'm gonna be the most pissed-off person in the world if they actually start selling RU486 (abortion pill) off the shelf at the local drugstore...but we still have to go to the pharmacist & ask for a fuckin box of Sudafed, because they have to keep that shit behind the counter!! Are ya with me??
Anyway...had to just yell about that first...I'm listening to a lot of songs we have on Windows media player (we're up to 7,035 songs downloaded on here!), and yesterday I got one of my favorites from the early 90's...I'm Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred!! And I'm playing some Styx, cuz, well...just cuz! So I was listening to Tom Sawyer, and that made me think about my 10th grade year in high school (my very WORST!). We had a big stereo system in the cafeteria that was always on QFM96, Columbus rock station, and that song was on every day when I was at lunch! One of the girls at my school when I was in 8th grade loved Styx, too, and she had the biggest crush on Geddy Lee. So, a few years ago when Tiffany was in high school, she said something about a guy in her class named Geddy, and she thought that was a dumb name. I just looked at her, and said "Is his mom's name Regina??" and Tiff said yeah. Holy shit!! Wow. I'm still floored by that...
I'm jumping around here, but this story is just too freakin' funny NOT to tell! After I had gotten my job,(at 20), and they scheduled me a vacation the next summer, I had no clue what to do on it, didn't have a lot of money (still don't, come to think of it...), and a one and a half year old little girl. But I did have one friend who had never gotten married...Kim HAD gotten married, but I hated her husband since they started going out in high school, but I can get along with him by now..but..beside the point. So my single friend Kelly and I made plans to go up to Port Clinton for a week, and I left Tiff with my mom for the week. That was some of the most fun I'd had in forever!! We went swimming, played pool, even got to go skinny dipping in Lake Erie with a cute guy I picked up in a bar...I made Kel go with us, cuz neither one of us wanted to be anywhere alone. So, we're all in the lake, naked, and I pointed across the lake to a thing with a bunch of lights on it, and said "What's that, Kevin?" (d'oh! another Kevin!) He said that's just Davis-Bessie. After a minute of thought, I realized Davis-Bessie was a nuclear power plant!! I think we left right then!! A couple days later, Kel & I went to Cedar Point, and that was the BEST, cuz from home, it's 2 & a half hrs...from our motel it was maybe 10-15 minutes!! That evening when we were getting dressed in our 'clubbing clothes', she told me that when she was in high school, she was at lunch with her friends, and they were all laughing at something. She was eating a Hostess cherry pie, and they all started laughing at something, and she said she kinda choked, but not too bad. Then she went to the bathroom, blew her nose, and A FUCKIN' CHERRY CAME OUT!! I can hardly type this now, 20 yrs later, without falling off my chair laughing!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

more stupid-ass shit!!

Okay....this is Kim & I in the 9th's a picture we got in one of those stupid little booths in the mall. Kim put this picture in the frame and gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago! And, OMG, I just about cried!! But the good thing is, we both look about the same, but, thank God...better? I think?
Once around this age, she was at my house (of course), and we decided we were thirsty for 'Slush Puppies'. So we got on my 10-speed and I rode down to the Lawson's, or whatever, we rode double (with no in the hell did we ever survive?). We got our cups of flavored slush, and got ready to come home.. me with my green slush, her with her bright blue slush. We got about halfway home down Center St (yup...we rode in the street too.), and all of a sudden, I hear Kim yell, "Eeeewww!". So...I pulled up to the sidewlk, stopped the bike, and turned around and asked WTF was wrong with her? She just looked at me with the right side of her lip curled, and showed me her cup of slush. And floating in the middle of it was a great big white bird-turd! I just about laughed my ass off! And asked her, "Should we go back & get you a straw?" I think I still have the bruise that remark earned me...
One time we were sitting on the radiator downstairs (we had radiators covered with big wood seats in that house) and we were looking out the front window at the cars driving past. Our town, when I was 14 or 15, well, the national pasttime here was 'shooting the loop'. And of course, since we lived on one of the main streets of the town, we saw & heard it all, especially on Friday and Saturday nights. People would drag-race down our street (& get pulled over brother got pulled over for that once, in front of the house, too!!). So, Mom & Dad were upstairs in bed (it was like 2 or 3 am!), and we were watching for this one certain guy's car to go past. And it was all quiet in there and everything (I'm totally gonna make a dork out of myself here, but I beg of you...I was 14...what's some of the stupid shit you did, hmmm?), anyway...we were whispering secrets & stuff, talking soft so we didn't wake Mom & Dad up (it was 2 or 3 am), and all of a sudden I farted & it was loud, cuz of the wooden top of the radiator. And we both started dying laughing...but everybody knows what happens when Kim laughs too hard, right? Uh-Huh. Then I start hearing SSSSSSSSssssss...yup...Kim peed her pants, and it must've been winter, which means the radiator was HOT!! And I had to quietly sneak upstairs and get a towel out of the linen closet...I took it back down to Kim & threw it at her, and told her to clean the smelly stuff up herself, and don't forget the radiator itself, and the wood underneath it!! Oh, shit, nobody laughed as much as us...even now, when we talk on the phone!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

stupid shit we did...

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

All right, that's a really stupid-ass joke, and, as a blonde, I should be all offended and shit, but I hafta admit it, I laughed my ass off at this!

Some of the stupid stuff Kim and I used to do (when we were way too young to drive!)...
Once, in the late 70's (we were about 14), there was a parade going down Center Street here in town (only a block away from my house!). Kim & I were all pissed, because we couldn't see anything, 'old people' had put lawn chairs out by the street early, so...then I happened to look behind me at the grocery store (yes, this is the one I got a job at when I was 19, and met Kevin!), and there were people sitting on the roof watching the parade! So I pointed this out to Kim (quietly, so no old people knew what we were doing), and we figured there HAD to be some way up there. We ran to the back of the store, and there were bread racks against the building. They looked strong, like they'd hold us (yeah...we were like 85 lbs each, soaking wet!). So we pushed one of 'em over right next to the building, and started climbing. After a struggle, we made it to the back of the roof, and started walking nonchalantly to the front that was right above Center St. Of course, we stayed at the end opposite the other people up there. I noticed a guy in the crowd looking at us, but I just didn't look at him, cuz I knew if I did, he'd come over there and tell us to get lost, ya little whippersnappers! (he was cute, but he was way old!). Years later, I found out that this guy was Kevin's boss (supervisor of all meat depts for that co.)! And we all had a good laugh about it...he'd thought that Kim & I were sisters (we do look a lot alike)! And after I had been working there awhile, that supv asked me how we ever got up there. I told him, he was dying laughing, and took me behind the meat dept, and showed me the stairs that went up from inside! D'oh!
Then once when we were at my old house (the huge one, with 3 floors), we were on the 3rd floor in 'my' room in the attic, the one I'd made into our 'party/smoking room. It had all kinds of windows that faced the west, and we could see all the cars coming down the street.Two of the windows opened outward on hinges, and there weren't any screens in them. Kim decided she had to pee, but didn't feel like going 'all the way' down to the second floor (where there were two bathrooms, mind you!). So, since it was nighttime, she figured she'd just wait til the next batch of cars went past...then she turned around, pulled down her pants, opened the window, and hung her butt out, and peed all the way from the 3rd floor to the driveway!!! And you know what's comin', don't ya? Yup, the light down the block changed, and here came about 25 cars down the street...and of course they had their lights on!! And, once you start, you can NOT stop!! She got more honks from cars...
Once we were walking around on one of the main roads in our city, after we'd gone to McDonald's, and it was March. *Evil idea sprouting* We bought a couple extra green milkshakes (St Patrick's Day, remember?) and went out by the road and put them on their sides. Then when a really fancy white car went past, we stomped on them, as hard as we could! Then, of course, took off running! Nope, never got caught. But now...I'd kick a kid's ass if they did that to MY car!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Monday, October 17, 2005

20-tagged by dddragon! from 10-13...sorry!

This is my DREAM house!!! are the 20 things about me that dddragon tagged me for last week...looking at Tan Lucy Pez's blog today, and, seeing that she had done it kind of 'shamed' me into it.Truly, I wasn't not gonna do it, I just hadn't gotten off my ass (or ON my ass!), and put my book down and done it! Here goes...
1. Well, okay...not that this is the most important thing about my life, but I have ms. Was diagnosed in Nov 1994, and was told that the scars on my brain were in the worst possible place (cerebellum)...pretty much gave me no hope for staying out of a wheelchair...but I'm not in one yet!! (use a walker, but only because of my balance, not strength!), and I kept my full-time job at Verizon (GTE at the time) until Sept 1998, since it was just a cust svc/computer job.
2. I LOVE to read! Usually it's the scary books (Stephen King, etc), but I also love mysteries, politics, history...
3. I'm also hooked on tv, but during the day, any tv that's on has FOX news channel on.
4. I'm a registered Republican, but I have some disagreements with the party...not about Iraq, though, I think it was the right thing to do. And, yes, we should stay til the work is would we feel if it was the other way around?
5. I hate, hate, hate Hillary Clinton!
6. I love, love, love, and more love Kevin and Tiffany!!
7. I also love my (okay...our) cat, Truman!
8. Even though I was the one who picked him out at the animal shelter (it was love at first sight!)!
9. Kevin's family is the best family of in-laws I could have! I knew his mom and his brother Ken before I met Kevin.
10. I always wonder if it has the good effect on Tiffany that I think it does.
11. Kevin's mom & dad, & my mom & dad have never been divorced.
12. But I get along better with Kevin's family than mine!
13. I love NFL football.
14. I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are a great team, and I love the coach, Bill Cowher.
15. I drink Coke, not Pepsi!
16. Even though I've seen what Coke does to corroded battery cables, because my dad had to do that to my car when I still lived at home!
17. I laugh at some of the commercials that are on tv now (you know...French benefits, Arby's oven mitt).
18. I asked for & got a sock puppet a couple years ago.
19. Halloween's my favorite holiday...mostly because it's cheaper than Christmas!!
20. I'm hooked on watching FOX 24 hours when a hurricane is coming to our shores (yeah, I know...morbid).
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Sunday, October 16, 2005


Is this hilarious, or what?? The title of the picture is 'Amish Airlines'...'s more of Kim & me....
The very first time we actually got together & did anything, was around Christmastime in our 8th grade year. We were all paired up in our English class to do a project on foreign Christmas celebrations. So, actually, it wasn't either of our ideas to be best friends forever, starting in 8th grade! Actually, I have to put this in here...maybe that had something to do with the fact that I got my very first 'C' on my report card in that class, in my 8th grade year! And, yes, my mom DID just about shit when I brought that home..."Oh my God, you'll never go anywhere, you'll NEVER get into college, etc., etc..." followed by the famous crying...but I am digressing horribly here... the teacher was matching us up in pairs, and she put Kim and me together (yeah, so everything stems from Mrs Hawkins! Yeah! It's all HER fault!!), and Kim and I were sitting together trying to figure out what to do...all of a sudden Kim looked up from the book we were looking at, and said, "Here it is! We'll make 'wassail'!" I looked at her and said, "WTF is wassail??" So, she read it to me, it sounded like something I NEEDED to do. I showed up at her house the next day, and we got all the ingredients together for the drink, which we were making in a huge punchbowl, and mixed it up. Then we tried it...and just about PUKED!! We checked all the ingredients again, and we had made it exactly like the book had said...but it was GREEN!! So we dumped it into a huge thermos or something, and traipsed proudly off to school with it the next day.
When we got to English class, we told Mrs Hawkins what we had done for our project when she called on us. She was overjoyed that we had taken so much initiative, and actually made something that everybody in class could take part in. So we thought it was all good, and started pouring the stuff in paper cups for everyone. Lo and behold, as we poured the first cup, most people said, "Eeeeewww! I'm not touching THAT shit!! It's GREEN!!!". But, unbelievably, some people said "Mmmmmm". Then the teacher informed the class that 'everybody's getting a cup! Kim & Libby worked HARD on this!' Suffice it to say that Kim & I politely refused our cups, saying 'no thanks, we already had ours yesterday.'. Not surprisingly, most people drank some and said 'yuk!'. But some people actually liked it and asked for the recipe!! So, in our not-so-humble opinion, we were a success! By the way, Kim just called here, and I told her what I was blogging about, and she laughed her ass off, and said it's a good thing we didn't do it a few years later...we would've put Ex-Lax in it!! She has a really good point..
So...we had no choice but to become friends after that, not to mention the fact that Kim was still afraid of Bonnie & her friends (who were all cheerleaders, for God's sake! Who in the world is afraid of cheerleaders??).
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Friday, October 14, 2005


Oh geez, I'm having a total 'blond day' today...(don't tell Kevin!).
And now I'm really pissed, cuz I found the picture I've been looking for, and I want to put it on here, but 'the almighty blog gods' won't let me upload it!! Grrrrrr!!!
OK...still won't go....$% !$^^&(&%&%^*%^^F!!!
I give up...which is not easy for me to admit!
Last evening, Kev, Tiff, & I were sitting here trying to figure out what Tiff ought to be at the Halloween party that Kathy & Benji give every year. This year is the 3rd annual one. Kat & Benji always rent one of the halls in town, & invite tons of people, Kat is the dj, with all the equipment, lights, everything! And all kinds of drinking, dancing, costume contest, everything. And this is how 'inventive' the costumes are. A couple years ago, a girl came dressed (no, Jill, I won't say who...) like a bloody red used tampon! Now THAT took imagination...and guts! And last year Tiff was dressed like a Playboy bunny, and the guy she went with was Hugh Hefner! (no, it wasn't Ricky [Dick-y]). So, we're sitting here discussing the festivities, Tiff mentioned she still wasn't sure, & we had a couple of coconut halves on the table, and I said, "Hey! Be a hula girl, & put those over your boobs!". Tiff looked at me & Kev, picked them up, put 'em on her chest over her boobs (on top of her shirt!), then looked at us, and said, "No, my 'breasticles' will hang out!" Oh, man , what a line!!
So, Kevin just called me from work on his last break, and asked me why it took me so long to answer the phone. I said I was putting on makeup cuz I wanna look good for my husband. ;-) Kevin said 'Cool! What time's he gonna get home?' I thought for a second and said 'Well...we have a little time if you hurry!'. No, he's just been a total smartass lately (yeah, that's why we're married!). I was telling him about something I read yesterday that was so sad, it made me even feel better about my life, and he said 'Wow! That's hard to do, unless you're reading the obituaries...'. Dickweed!!
SHIT!!! The picture I wanted to put on here just went!! How cool!! I want a shirt like that!!
Actually, I told Kevin about 14 years ago, that we should have another kid. You know, so Tiff would have someone to pick on besides us...but then I changed my mind when I remembered how BAD it hurt! Cuz, of course, when I had Tiffany, there were no epidurals or anything, and I didn't want medication, because I didn't want to hurt the baby! HA!! If I'dve had a clue... But, 22 years ago...I was never told to quit smoking while I was pregnant! There was even a smoking waiting room down at the end of the hall, about 30 feet from my room!!
OK...I'm done...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY

Thursday, October 13, 2005


OMG!! They found him!! And this looks a whole lot like the 'party apartment' we all used to hang out at when I was in high school, and we could smoke pot, drink, anything, cuz the guys that lived there were out of high school, rented this & lived there, and they were old enough to buy beer!! WOOHOO!
So...last night around 10, an old friend called me that I haven't talked to for years! She lives in the town up north where I transferred to in 1986, and while I worked at that store, she was hired in about a year after I got there. And it's kinda funny now, but the first day she was hired, I hated her at first sight, and she hated me, too! I hated her cuz she was so gorgeous, and had the dark brown hair that I always wished for, AND she was younger!! (by 2 yrs, being the elderly 21.). Later I found out (she told me, while we were at the bar one night getting drunk) that the first time I walked past her at the store when she was interviewing, she looked at me and thought to herself "skinny blond bitch"! HAHA!! women...aren't we all like that?? But, actually, once we got to know each other, and, actually, had time to go out and get drunk together, we were friends! And have kept in touch with each other even after I came back down here, and Kev & I got married, and I got ms, she's still been my friend, even though we don't talk much! Her teeny little girl (she WAS, anyway!) is now 14, and starting high school! She had S way after Kevin & I started going out/got married. I'm just thinking back to that time, and I'm remembering some of the shit we used to get away with. Because, the biggest thing we had in common was the fact that we both loved beer, and we weren't afraid to do stupid shit! I was always known as 'the happy idiot' up there, even by customers! ;-) M wasn't that idiotic, cuz she still lived at home with her mom & dad. They were really neat...her dad was chief of police there, so...the only way she could've been worse, I guess, is if he'd been a preacher...
We were just a couple of 'the guys'! Which is actually about the best way to be, cuz no matter what happened, we all went to bat for each other, took each other home if someone got too drunk to drive, the guys would fight for each other or for us if it was needed. It was just cool! And here Tiffany told me the other night that she didn't want to be 'one of the guys'. I tried to explain to her that that isn't a bad thing at all! But, of course, I'm just 'mom', so I have no clue, I guess. Hmmmmppphhhh! It was nice to catch up on stuff. I remember when her daughter was about 6 and she flipped M off when she told her no about something. M actually saw her little precious 6 year old in the mirror doing it, when S thought M wasn't looking! OMG, I laughed my ass off when M told me that!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Okay....gotta start out with a coupla stupid 'jokes'.

The only problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.

The definition of a 'moderate jihadist'?
One who ran out of ammunition...

All right...Mary, this is for you, at your request!
A few Halloweens ago, when Tiff was 16, she had a job at Kay-Bee Toy Store, and, I think Toy Story 1 had just come out. All the little kids around wanted Halloween costumes from Toy Story, and Tiff must've got carried away with it, or something, and she decided to be Jesse that year. Which is so different from what we've always done!! (as you know!). So she knew that by then, I wasn't able to walk around with her (bummer! this is the best time to!), so she said she'd stay home with me until her friends got off work that evening (you know, so she could go out & get candy with them too!). I always sit on the front porch steps to hand out candy, and she was standing on the top step beside me, helping, because there's usually 150 - 200 kids every year. So, later that evening, when the 'steady stream of' kids had slowed down a little, a little boy was running around across the street, dressed like the little cowboy star of that movie. All of a sudden, Tiffany stood up and yelled, "Hey! I need a Woody!" I just sat there looking at her back in shock...(haha...if she hadn't said it, I would've!), and then she turned around to me and clapped her hands over her mouth, and said "Did I REALLY just yell that??" But I think I'd already rolled down into the bushes laughing!! That was GREAT!! I always use that line to her when I want to (somewhat) embarass her. But, unfortunately, she's like me...un-embarassable!! Unfortunately for me, fortunately for her! Because embarassment for a teen girl is almost unavoidable! Unless you're one of the perfect, pretty, popular girls, that is. Which I was NOT, but Tiffany is!! By the way, Kev's sister Kat was here today, and we were talking about stuff, and she told me that Tiff's always complaining about her "cankles". Then we both just sat here & died laughing, cuz we both know that she has legs any woman would kill for! (as you know, cankles=calves+ankles! from 'Shallow Hal'...good movie!).
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Monday, October 10, 2005

rainy, rainy,rainy...i think we get more than Seattle!

Okay...who looked like this over the weekend?? Be honest, now...

The year after we had our first 'haunted porch'. Halloween was rainy and cold, but we did it anyway. You know, "Back by Popular Demand!" We had a 25 lb box of, I forget, but it was some kind of individual wrapped chocolate...maybe Hershey kisses? And we had them in a box at the back of the porch, and the kids had to walk through the maze of long black plastic sheets (cut up garbage bags! we're cheap...but creative!) . Ken was standing right behind the box. I forget what he was dressed as, but he'd just stand there all still, not talking, like an Indian or something. He's over six feet tall, and every so often when a kid would stick their hand in the box to get one, Ken would yell, 'HEY!! That's MY candy! Get OUT of MY candy!!' They'd scream, drop the candy, and run....probably dropping little shit-turds outta their pants, too!! I'd stop them on the way out and give them candy, but Tiff's idea worked well too! She stood at the back of the porch too and had a plastic bag with handles, like an old trick or treat bag, and she had some candy in it...she also had some wet, boiled spaghetti in there too!! And she actually said one little boy grabbed up a handful of spaghetti, looked at her, and said "Thank You!" , and put it in his bag, and left. Hey, I only suggested that as a joke, I really didn't think she'd DO it!! (but I'm really glad she did!). Yes, my legacy lives on!
I've always 'given good holidays'! Or, well, done some shit to make them memorable. One April Fool's Day when I was the produce manager at a store up north of here, me & my friends decided we had to do something, so we super-glued a quarter to the floor in the bulk foods department, by a popular seller so we knew someone'd see it...then we hid behind my back room door so we could see them (sneaky, huh?). I can NOT believe the number of people (yes, kids & adults!) who spent at least 10 - 15 minutes trying to pry it up! I can't believe they didn't hear us laughing!!
The next year at Valentine's Day...the bulk foods department had a great big container of those candy hearts that say things on them. So I got a bagfuul of them out, and took them back to the produce room (I didn't have a lot of work to do that day). And went out to the shelves and found a pen/marker, with, like, an even finer point than a shapie marker. And this was red. So, I had them ring it up on produce supplies, and went dancing back to my 'evil-ness'. I took a LOT of time doing it, but by that evening it was all done. All the little hearts were changed to "Suck me hard', 'Wine me, dine me, 69 me', etc. Then I dumped them back in with the rest. Never even thought about the fact that little kids' moms probably bought them for the kids to pass out at school...but I never heard anything about it. Never did that again, either...didn't want to tempt fate!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Friday, October 07, 2005

friday night...

Okay, yeah, I'm really sick & wrong when I laugh at shit like this (pun definitely intended!!). But, stop it, you're sitting there snorting pop out YOUR nose, too, arentcha? Don't LIE!!
Well, Mom called me yesterday...she didn't even mention the fact that she forgot Tiff's birthday. So, well, what can I say to her? She did bitch about what a bastard my dad is (he's just always crabby...always has been, aways will be...)...she's the one that chose him, not me, for heaven's sake!! My mom has had about 4 or 5 angiograms on her heart, had 1/3 of one of her lungs removed from lung cancer, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, but she's never been overweight or anything. Basically, she is what I think of as the poster child for "stress causes sickness". Not all of it, but a good part...She's never said a swear word about anybody in her life, well, til a few years ago when I was on the phone with her, and she was like"blah, blah, blah etc' & I said Mom!! SAY IT! You'll feel so much better! So she's starting to, but mostly she whispers it (like God can't hear it or something!). Anyway, she and my dad were always really close to Tiff, had her stay overnight with them 2 nights a week when I was single and she was 1 - 4, and I was working about 50+ hours a week (& her bio-dad never wanted to see her...yay!...BTW...that's why it's so great for her that Kev wanted to adopt her! And he did but it took til she was 7 and we had a court date.). So...when Tiff was in middle school, my dad used to call her after she got home & before we were home, and just 'rag' on her about everything! One day Kev walked in & Tiff was on the phone with someone, and she was crying. Kev grabbed the phone and asked who it was. It was my dad, and he'd been bitching about her not being in the paper as an honor student. Kev told him not to call here & get Tiff upset like that, and Dad said "she's not your daughter..." etc...then Kev hung up.(good for him!). So, we've hardly been on speaking terms since. Even though we live, like, a few blocks from them! My mom hardly ever calls me, she'll call Tiff's cell phone instead. Oh well, I've finally come to terms with it...just nod & smile, and keep my mouth shut unless someone says something about Kevin, which nobody ever will, especially my mom, cuz she knows how good Kev is to both of us!

whew...that was work...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

first birthday of the 'birthday season' is it starts!!

This is the pumpkin I want on my front porch this year...of course, I need a person who can carve a pumpkin...anybody wanna volunteer?? Of course, Tiff's a VERY good artist, so I'm sure she'd be glad to..but...I'm her MOM! Moms don't ask their children to do that, do they?? O' course, she IS 22!!
On another subject...she is really good friends with a guy & his wife that own a tattoo parlor here in town. A few days after she broke up with Ricky, she went over to their house in the evening, came home around 1 am, said 'hey, I got another tattoo! Look!' I did, & it's gorgeous & bright colors! It's all kinds of flowers, on the top of her right foot. Cuz she already has one on top of her left foot, a frog, in memory of one of her good friends that committed suicide (she loved frogs!), and a butterfly whose wings are leopardskin on the small of her back (you know...commonly known as 'a tramp stamp'! Kev was afraid it was gonna be of Ricky's name, but, HELL NO! She's way too smart for that, & for him.
We had a great party for her here Sunday night, it was Kev's whole family wasn't invited, only because my mom & dad won't drive after dark (my dad should never drive anyway, he's like, blind in one eye...Mom's 82, Dad's 87). But, Tiffany's, like, always been their favorite. And she still goes to their house and stays overnight when they ask her to, and she goes over at least once a week to clean for Mom. But, get Mom FORGOT Tiff's birthday this year! That has NEVER happened before! She only found out about it because she was shopping at Kroger's and Tiff's friend works there, and mentioned it! After that, Mom called work, and told her she was sorry yesterday, and she & my dad took Tiff to lunch at Applebee's, and Mom gave Tiff what she had asked for, the dvd set of the first season of 'Laguna Beach'. We gave her an MP3 player, and it'll hold about 2000 songs! And Uncle Ken, Kev's brother gave her a convertorr for her car! But still...
Okay, maybe that's petty. But, we can't help it. Someday I'll write about the whole family's 'relationship' with my side of the family...
I really wanted to write about how much more fun birthdays for Tiff used to be...(not to mention cheaper!). For her, like 7th birthday, I bought a shit ton of mini pumpkins, and Kevin and I wrote a number on each one, and put a birthday party prize in a bag with a 'coordinating number' on it, and had those all done the day before, and then Kevin & I went out in the backyard and hid all the pumpkins while Tiff was asleep. The next day, of her party, about 20+ kids showed up, and we had the cake & ice cream, and did all the regular party games. Then we got them all out on the deck out back, and told them what the next game was. They all took off out in the yard to find the pumpkins, and Kev had the camcorder & was taping, the girl that Tiff had had a fight with a couple years before, found a pumpkin and screamed "I FOUND one!!". Kev focused the camcorder on her as she was running to the deck. She started to run up the steps, and all of a sudden she disappears and you just hear a thud/oof (she tripped on the top step). She was/is okay. And we still have the TAPE!! (heehee! blackmail?)
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!