Wednesday, October 19, 2005

more stupid-ass shit!!


Okay....this is Kim & I in the 9th grade...it's a picture we got in one of those stupid little booths in the mall. Kim put this picture in the frame and gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago! And, OMG, I just about cried!! But the good thing is, we both look about the same, but, thank God...better? I think?
Once around this age, she was at my house (of course), and we decided we were thirsty for 'Slush Puppies'. So we got on my 10-speed and I rode down to the Lawson's, or whatever, we rode double (with no helmets...how in the hell did we ever survive?). We got our cups of flavored slush, and got ready to come home.. me with my green slush, her with her bright blue slush. We got about halfway home down Center St (yup...we rode in the street too.), and all of a sudden, I hear Kim yell, "Eeeewww!". So...I pulled up to the sidewlk, stopped the bike, and turned around and asked WTF was wrong with her? She just looked at me with the right side of her lip curled, and showed me her cup of slush. And floating in the middle of it was a great big white bird-turd! I just about laughed my ass off! And asked her, "Should we go back & get you a straw?" I think I still have the bruise that remark earned me...
One time we were sitting on the radiator downstairs (we had radiators covered with big wood seats in that house) and we were looking out the front window at the cars driving past. Our town, when I was 14 or 15, well, the national pasttime here was 'shooting the loop'. And of course, since we lived on one of the main streets of the town, we saw & heard it all, especially on Friday and Saturday nights. People would drag-race down our street (& get pulled over regularly...my brother got pulled over for that once, in front of the house, too!!). So, Mom & Dad were upstairs in bed (it was like 2 or 3 am!), and we were watching for this one certain guy's car to go past. And it was all quiet in there and everything (I'm totally gonna make a dork out of myself here, but I beg of you...I was 14...what's some of the stupid shit you did, hmmm?), anyway...we were whispering secrets & stuff, talking soft so we didn't wake Mom & Dad up (it was 2 or 3 am), and all of a sudden I farted & it was loud, cuz of the wooden top of the radiator. And we both started dying laughing...but everybody knows what happens when Kim laughs too hard, right? Uh-Huh. Then I start hearing SSSSSSSSssssss...yup...Kim peed her pants, and it must've been winter, which means the radiator was HOT!! And I had to quietly sneak upstairs and get a towel out of the linen closet...I took it back down to Kim & threw it at her, and told her to clean the smelly stuff up herself, and don't forget the radiator itself, and the wood underneath it!! Oh, shit, nobody laughed as much as us...even now, when we talk on the phone!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

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