Monday, October 10, 2005

rainy, rainy,rainy...i think we get more than Seattle!

Okay...who looked like this over the weekend?? Be honest, now...

The year after we had our first 'haunted porch'. Halloween was rainy and cold, but we did it anyway. You know, "Back by Popular Demand!" We had a 25 lb box of, I forget, but it was some kind of individual wrapped chocolate...maybe Hershey kisses? And we had them in a box at the back of the porch, and the kids had to walk through the maze of long black plastic sheets (cut up garbage bags! we're cheap...but creative!) . Ken was standing right behind the box. I forget what he was dressed as, but he'd just stand there all still, not talking, like an Indian or something. He's over six feet tall, and every so often when a kid would stick their hand in the box to get one, Ken would yell, 'HEY!! That's MY candy! Get OUT of MY candy!!' They'd scream, drop the candy, and run....probably dropping little shit-turds outta their pants, too!! I'd stop them on the way out and give them candy, but Tiff's idea worked well too! She stood at the back of the porch too and had a plastic bag with handles, like an old trick or treat bag, and she had some candy in it...she also had some wet, boiled spaghetti in there too!! And she actually said one little boy grabbed up a handful of spaghetti, looked at her, and said "Thank You!" , and put it in his bag, and left. Hey, I only suggested that as a joke, I really didn't think she'd DO it!! (but I'm really glad she did!). Yes, my legacy lives on!
I've always 'given good holidays'! Or, well, done some shit to make them memorable. One April Fool's Day when I was the produce manager at a store up north of here, me & my friends decided we had to do something, so we super-glued a quarter to the floor in the bulk foods department, by a popular seller so we knew someone'd see it...then we hid behind my back room door so we could see them (sneaky, huh?). I can NOT believe the number of people (yes, kids & adults!) who spent at least 10 - 15 minutes trying to pry it up! I can't believe they didn't hear us laughing!!
The next year at Valentine's Day...the bulk foods department had a great big container of those candy hearts that say things on them. So I got a bagfuul of them out, and took them back to the produce room (I didn't have a lot of work to do that day). And went out to the shelves and found a pen/marker, with, like, an even finer point than a shapie marker. And this was red. So, I had them ring it up on produce supplies, and went dancing back to my 'evil-ness'. I took a LOT of time doing it, but by that evening it was all done. All the little hearts were changed to "Suck me hard', 'Wine me, dine me, 69 me', etc. Then I dumped them back in with the rest. Never even thought about the fact that little kids' moms probably bought them for the kids to pass out at school...but I never heard anything about it. Never did that again, either...didn't want to tempt fate!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

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