Tuesday, October 18, 2005

stupid shit we did...

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

All right, that's a really stupid-ass joke, and, as a blonde, I should be all offended and shit, but I hafta admit it, I laughed my ass off at this!

Some of the stupid stuff Kim and I used to do (when we were way too young to drive!)...
Once, in the late 70's (we were about 14), there was a parade going down Center Street here in town (only a block away from my house!). Kim & I were all pissed, because we couldn't see anything, 'old people' had put lawn chairs out by the street early, so...then I happened to look behind me at the grocery store (yes, this is the one I got a job at when I was 19, and met Kevin!), and there were people sitting on the roof watching the parade! So I pointed this out to Kim (quietly, so no old people knew what we were doing), and we figured there HAD to be some way up there. We ran to the back of the store, and there were bread racks against the building. They looked strong, like they'd hold us (yeah...we were like 85 lbs each, soaking wet!). So we pushed one of 'em over right next to the building, and started climbing. After a struggle, we made it to the back of the roof, and started walking nonchalantly to the front that was right above Center St. Of course, we stayed at the end opposite the other people up there. I noticed a guy in the crowd looking at us, but I just didn't look at him, cuz I knew if I did, he'd come over there and tell us to get lost, ya little whippersnappers! (he was cute, but he was way old!). Years later, I found out that this guy was Kevin's boss (supervisor of all meat depts for that co.)! And we all had a good laugh about it...he'd thought that Kim & I were sisters (we do look a lot alike)! And after I had been working there awhile, that supv asked me how we ever got up there. I told him, he was dying laughing, and took me behind the meat dept, and showed me the stairs that went up from inside! D'oh!
Then once when we were at my old house (the huge one, with 3 floors), we were on the 3rd floor in 'my' room in the attic, the one I'd made into our 'party/smoking room. It had all kinds of windows that faced the west, and we could see all the cars coming down the street.Two of the windows opened outward on hinges, and there weren't any screens in them. Kim decided she had to pee, but didn't feel like going 'all the way' down to the second floor (where there were two bathrooms, mind you!). So, since it was nighttime, she figured she'd just wait til the next batch of cars went past...then she turned around, pulled down her pants, opened the window, and hung her butt out, and peed all the way from the 3rd floor to the driveway!!! And you know what's comin', don't ya? Yup, the light down the block changed, and here came about 25 cars down the street...and of course they had their lights on!! And, once you start, you can NOT stop!! She got more honks from cars...
Once we were walking around on one of the main roads in our city, after we'd gone to McDonald's, and it was March. *Evil idea sprouting* We bought a couple extra green milkshakes (St Patrick's Day, remember?) and went out by the road and put them on their sides. Then when a really fancy white car went past, we stomped on them, as hard as we could! Then, of course, took off running! Nope, never got caught. But now...I'd kick a kid's ass if they did that to MY car!!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

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