What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.
* now do you still wonder why I live alone? *
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too.
I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.'
A lot of guys are laughing and looking over their shoulders to make sure they're alone...
I had fun being a produce manager at that store! I did that there for about a year at that store, learning what real physical work is all about, & how great it feels to do it, and do it well, and be a great mommy and bring Tif up to know that it's totally important to laugh & have fun while doing the important things you have to! In my life, the decade of laughter was the 80's! That truly was the VERY BEST time of my life!
Then 'Mr Whipple' started being even a bigger jerk than usual. He was an ok boss, just "bossy"! And I have a problem with being told what to do (ask anybody!). We went riding around Ohio so I could see some of the other stores (in the company), that was neat! We even would stop at a bar for a beer on the way home. No, not any 'funny business', we also had a mutual respect & friendship. Then all of a sudden, I got a produce supervisor up at the main office in Findlay. He came in one day & was talking about a lot of stuff. Mr Whipple was following us all around, & butting into the conversation. I could see new boss getting pissed at him...& I just bided my time. lol! All of a sudden New Boss said "I'd like to talk to my produce manager, okay?" *said quite sternly*! So we talked awhile...And in April, 1986, I got transferred to my new store, 55 miles north, Fostoria. I was SO freakin' happy! I only made $5.50/hour, but hell, I LOVED driving! I found out later they had bets on me either quitting or moving up there...I did neither. It was my dream job at a store for a boss I really liked (ok, yeah, he was REALLY really cute!) & married, which I wanted nothing to do with! We were great friends...Amazing the number of guys I used to hang out with just because we all laughed...nobody ever got all snippy because they thought they were getting laughed at! If you were that self-conscious, you had no business hanging with us! Luckily, Mom & Dad had bought me an '80 Honda Civic when I got that job, so I got gas about 3 times a week, and put about 1000 miles a week on that car...& Mom & Dad paid my insurance (I was blessed with them!)