...Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices (minions!) tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
...hahaha!! This is SO Truman!! Naahh...Trumie would never think like this about ME!! (I'm a super demi-god when it comes to fooling myself..).
Well, I'm doing it..I've been cutting down on cigarettes during the last couple weeks...Sunday it was 5 a day...and I had my last one at noon yesterday... :-/ ! Oh, holy shit, it SUX!! I NEVER thought I'd miss it this bad!! But, it's for a good reason...no, it's not my healh (like I give 2 shits about that...). It's just so I can afford Tif's wedding dress! Figure it out...I usually go thru a carton a week...cartons cost 40.00....x 4 = $160.00 a month...definitely worth a few weeks of hell to quit....food already tastes better, my sense of smell is 100% better!
I could've broken down bigtime, & asked Joe to bring me a pack tonite, when he called, but I didn't even do that! I sure did whine about it, though...
I just saw a cool little sign in a catalog...it says..."If you want to make God smile, tell him your plans..." ...geez, that would make anyone smile!!
So, Kim called me the day Mom's obituary was in the paper. First time we've talked since Sept '06. She was crying about Mom when she called, then we were both doing the 'girly-thing'. Crying, apologized, straightened some stuff out...no, it's not perfect, but, you know what? Besides Tif & Joe, it's the strongest relationship I have...and even longer than either of those!! So, besides my brothers...it's worth fighting for, cuz it's the strongest thing I have to hang onto in the 'real world' (you know, x...meatspace!!).
Speaking of brothers...I'm actually gonna stop calling "Psycho" Psycho...from here I'm gonna refer to him as G..Yeah, I'm being soft, but, well...we're getting along all of a sudden...I think it took this slap in the face for us to realize "I don't have any parents anymore".
So, I'm gonna see about buying a burial plot up in the 'family's' cemetary...not owned by our family, but it's where all my family is on my mom's side...and the whole rest of the county, I think, belongs to my family...I know that every time you go by a house up there "Uncle D lives there...Aunt J lives there...Uncle B and Cousin C live there...Cousin L & his wife live there...". Yeah...that's the area I belong. Of course, after I'm dead, it's only a body...for all I care, you can stick a bone up my ass and let a dog drag me away...
All right...I have to get off of being all depressed & shit...give me another day or two...And why, oh, why, did I EVER choose that week, the week before Mom died to quit smoking?? Grrrrrr!!