Okay, I really felt like laughing tonight so I looked up some juvenile, lame jokes...you know, my type!
Yo' Momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it!
Yo' Momma so fat, when she goes in a restaurant and they hand her a menu, she takes it & says "Ok"
Yo' Momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it. He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there." The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down. This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
The teacher walks into the room and says... "OK class todays word is DEFINITELY, can anyone use the word in a sentence." Little Susie stands up and say "The sky is DEFINITELY blue." The teacher says; "Not necisarrily Susie, it can be blue, gray, or black, but nice try." Little Johnny is in the back of the room and is waving his hands back and forth. The teacher says " Yes Johnny, What is it?" Johnny says " I have a question." OK lets hear it, says the teacher. Johnny says "Do Farts have lumps?" The teacher says, "Well no they don't." Little Johnny says "Well then I DEFINITELY just shit my pants!!!"
Okay, and this is my last and lamest joke of the day...
One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday. She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The sales man says, "I am blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight." So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She was amazed at how cheap that was. So then she picked up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." she decided that was also really cheap. And then she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70." she told him that she would take it. As she was getting the fishing pole all rung up, she had to fart really really badly. She decided since the man was blind that it really wouldn't matter if she farted in front of him so she just let it loose. All of a sudden the man says, "It all comes up to $80." Confused the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70." He said, "It is. Its $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."
All righty then...I really hope nobody had any drink in their mouth!