my kind of "brainless" tv!

I got my ms bear today that I ordered Tuesday from http://www.themsshoppe.com/ , it is SO soft & cuddly, I'm keeping it away from Truman, or I'll never see it again! Oh, wait...he has no thumbs...and the bear is exactly the color of my print today!
I'm watching a show that I totally love, the spelling championship! Yeah, I know, I'm secretly a geek, okay? But don't tell anyone. Let's just keep it to ourselves...
I have so much shit going on in my life right now that I just want to crawl in a hole and bury myself...but I'll get back to normal soon...lots of appointments...lots of figuring out where and how I want my life to go...nothing that much different than everybody else has, I just have to do it without driving or walking, but my head works...if I can focus. And I just found out yesterday that I'm back down to 88 lbs, and I'm totally pissed off at that! My ms dr seems to think I'm not eating, and I'm doing not much else! And I'm making sure to go to the JerZee and get a big chocolate milkshake and a few chicken sandwiches every few days, + I still get Mobile Meals!...pheeww......the ms dr said maybe I shouldn't take ritalin now, cuz that might be a reason I'm not gaining...well, okay...that will just make it harder to 'focus' too!! Shit!!
Oh, a girl from Kansas just won the spelling bee!! She did great!!
All right, I'm outta here...not much else to say...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Memorial Day...

I am totally in love with this house at the top, as far as a one-story house, it's neat! I love houses of stone like that. And the next picture down is just 'cozy-looking house. It looks even cozier in the winter...but I don't even want to think about cold weather now! Forget I said anything!

And this is the most amazing rhododendron I think I've ever seen, and it's next door!

I don't usually talk about religion on here, that's pretty much a separate part of me...separate, but strong...I have to ask, though..has anyone ever seen Joel Osteen, the tv preacher? Well, I watch his show every Sunday night at midnight. I watched it for the first time a few months ago, and got hooked, because he's just not like any preacher I've ever seen. He doesn't tell you about how scary life is without religion, he talks about how great life can be with it. And his whole sermon is a bunch of short stories...and the reason I still watch it is because every single week, he's talking about something that has to do with my life specifically right at that moment! This week it hit home even more than usual, because he was saying that people are in & out of your life, mostly they're there just when you need them, but when the time comes that they walk out of your life, and no matter what you try, they go anyway, well, that's maybe you getting a divine push to go ahead on your own, they've served the purpose in your life, and now it's time for you to pick up, dust yourself off, and go, and be even better than you were with that other person. Anyone who knows what i've been dealing with for the last 2.5 years will know why he seems like he's talking to me personally! Kinda gives me a little chill, just writing it out! But a good, safe feeling, too.

Today, Bro's youngest daughter had her graduation party out at his house. It was a great time! It's always so much fun out there. She's going to Arizona State for college next year. That's different...his older two girls stayed in Ohio and went to Heidelberg in Tiffin, which is neat...that's where Mom graduated from...no, she graduated from Tiffin University. Boo went to Heidelberg to be a teacher. And Bro's oldest daughter went there, in, like, early 90's. And that was the funniest...she looks so much like me, that people in the bars in Tiffin used to go up to her and ask how she was related to me!! Actually, it's funny in a sad kind of way, that the owners of the bars in Tiffin knew what I looked like? lol! I think a lot of bartenders knew me because I was famous for getting the tequila worm...and then auctioning it!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Harshin' my mellow, man!

OMG!! When is the last time you ever heard anybody use that phrase seriously?? I know I was probably 8 or so, and I heard Bro tell one of his friends over at our house, "Hey, man, don't harsh my mellow!" I was going out to the kitchen today when Glenn Beck was on, and I heard the phrase "cap & trade", then I heard Glenn say "Don't harsh my mellow"...I just about died laughing right then!! Seriously, I just gave up & sat down in the middle of the hallway and laughed for about 5 minutes!
I had one of my favorite dreams last night. Is everybody like me in this regard?...You know, most of the time my dreams are just regular, mundane things (well, except for that one...)lol! And sometimes I have a dream about the same places, over & over, on & off, for years!
Last night I dreamed I was driving my car (yeah, my old one, the 1980 Honda Civic...I loved that car!!) and I remember driving up to the town up north that I used to work at...then I was driving over about 20 miles west to the place we all used to get drunk at, & I went in a bar & had a beer, Then I came out & drove around town, marveling at all the changes there...then I went further west, and ended up in Fort Wayne, cruising all over there. I even remember which highways and streets I was on! And I could walk (I always can in my dreams...isn't that funny?), so I remember stopping and going into a mall, getting some clothes, and then a huge milkshake, and going back out to the car & leaving. And the same billboard was there on the way out of town that had a picture of a beautiful black baby girl, about 3 years old, that said "Who killed my baby???" That billboard was there the last time I was over there for real. I remember it most because Tif pointed at it & asked me what it said...she was about 5 then...I think she could read it, but couldn't understand it...so how do you explain that when YOU don't understand it?
So that was pretty much one of the best dreams...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Your rainbow is strongly shaded violet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a creative person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Okay, I lied...I got a picture of Truman being very un-dignified, so here he is, in all his glory!

There's not much I like better than vines growing on the side of buildings! Especially these old brick buildings in downtown! I was down there the other day, and I need to get further to the west end...there's some beautiful old houses down there.
And by the time I got home with my chicken sammitches & milkshake, obviously, Truman was all tuckered out from running around the house looking for me, and all. Doesn't he look like the tiredest & most cuddly kitty in the world?

If he was a real baby, I'd be down there blowing a big ol' razzberry on his stomach! I used to do that to Tif all the time when she was a baby!

Somebody asked me the other day if I was seeing anybody, and I said, NO, I actually don't have the spare time in my head, you know?? I'm still trying to get my meds, and figure out where my life is going, and after all that, there's college to think of...when I told my cousin, Boo that, she said, "Libby...a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!" ahahahahahahaha!! I agree with her on that, but I had to say, "Boo...just quit getting all your sayings from your lesbian friends!" That's a total joke, you know...actually, her mom says it all the time! Actually, no, I don't need one, they're nice to have around sometimes, but not all the time! I don't think I was ever meant to be a wife. Sheesh...would've saved a lot of trouble if I'd known that before my first marriage, when I was 18! or my 2nd, when I was 25...
It used to be fun when Tif was about 1 & 1/2, 2...we were moving from our first apartment to our 2nd, and I was running up and down the stairs with my friends, moving all my stuff up there...Tif was getting bored, so I got a big piece of tape, and made a loop out of it and gave it to Tif, and she was busy with that for HOURS!! I think she actually fell asleep with trying to get it off her hands!! She got me back a few years later though, when she was playing with my Rubik's cube (everybody had one of those, didn't they??), and she brought it to me with all the colors right...then I found out she'd taken all the color stickers off and put them on the sides right!!
Well, I'm gettin' ready to eat my leftover pizza & crawl in bed with a book, one I got from Glenn Beck's program, "The Great Depression Ahead"...followed by Ann Rule's "A Rage To Kill".
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

M&M's & pound cake & Fritos, oh my!

Okay, that title of this post is my three-course dinner I'm having tonight...actually, I guess that would be my 3 course dessert I'm having now...huh...and I'm still fighting to break 100 lbs!

I have been wanting that "cute but psycho" sweatshirt for a few years! Someday I'll break down and buy it. And, I admit it...when I'm a grandma, if Tif has boys, I'll be that cat!! I may say I'm fearless, but...little boys...*shudder*.

I hafta admit it...yeah, I'm a bit of a "fluff"...Tif gave me a gift card to a tanning salon for Mother's Day, and since heat just makes all ms symptoms worse by about 100..she knows that and picked this place specifically because they have a booth where you can get a 'spray-on' tan! That tanning place is right next door to H's salon, so I went in to check it out after she cut my hair. I talked to the girl that runs the place, and it turns out that I really can't do the spray-on thing because there's nothing for me to hang on to, you just have to stand in the middle of the room...and I do NOT have the balance to do that! Well, that girl takes care of a woman with ms too, so she knows exactly how disappointed I was, so she stood by the counter with me and we talked about all the options I have, and I bought some things of sunless tanner & some moisturizer...the sunless tanner is the same stuff that's used by the spray-on thing, and I used it today, and OMG, I love it!! I've used sunless tanning lotion before, but this is SO much better than anything I've used before! Everything I've used before was a lotion, and runny, but this stuff is the consistency of toothpaste, almost! I love it...it's mystic sun (& it's expensive as hell, but...it was a PERFECT mother's day present!). Sheesh, it feels good to be 'tan' again! Seriously, when I worked at the grocery store here in town, it was in the WalMart plaza, and I used to walk a few doors down and go tanning 3 times a week after work! *sigh*...those were the days...that was the best part of the day, after being at work and running around all day, then go get in a tanning bed and sleep for 20 minutes!

I called Biogen again yesterday, to see how soon I can get started on tysabri...she said about a month, and I told her the reason I'm getting really impatient is because I've talked to someone there once a week for a month, and every week they've given me the same answer, why? (not rude, just impatient, you know?). She looked it all up on her computer, and they're still getting the nurses here trained, and everything & trying to figure out a schedule for me to do this...errggghhh...she said if I want to start earlier, they can fix it so I can get my first one at the other hospital, but I said no, thanks again, but now I want to be here to get it, not a half hour or hour away. So, obviously...if you have to be stubborn, you also have to have patience and be nice...

Oh! The girl that runs the tanning place took my name and address for the gift card redemption. When I said Libby B----, she said, "You're Tiffany's mom?" See? She's almost famous! I love living here. Now if she does anything bad, I'm pretty sure I'll be one of the first to hear about it! As a matter of fact, that's how she always got busted when she was a teenager...somebody would see her doing something she shouldn't, and call us, and when she got home...'course, she never really did anything really bad, just tried to smoke a cigarette or something. She told me forever ago that when she was in 6th grade and stayed overnite with a friend, they sneaked out of her house in the middle of the night. They walked around the block a few times, and then went back & crawled back in the window, because it was "boring, Mom!" I thank God for her every day! Cuz if she was like I was, holy shit!!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

hairs cut...again!

Yay!! It's getting warm & colorful here!! I took all these pictures last Tuesday, when I actually did go vote, believe it or not. Only one thing to vote on, and it failed miserably...but I did my part.

And just look and admire my beautiful wise and dignified cat looking out the window! I don't get pictures of him when he's looking "un-dignified" and silly, you know...that'd just be wrong to post those!

I went to my friend's "chop shop" (hair salon, lol!) yesterday, and she trimmed my hair back the way it was. I also took the picture of me, Mom, Dad, & my 2 brothers in...she just stood still & kept saying oh my God, Libby, this is when we started running around together! I thought she was gonna cry. But Mom & Dad were a big part of her life too, cuz she said she never would've ever had a vacation, especially out of Ohio, if she didn't go with us! We started going over our memories together, and I had only remembered her flying to the condo in Naples with us (not our condo, one of Dad's business friends'!). And not only did we get to use their condo, we also got to drive their big white convertible! I had forgotten about that! And I'd forgotten the time she got up early one morning, and was trying to help Mom, cuz she's always been nice like that, you know...anyway, she unloaded the dishwasher and put all the dishes away...then we all got up, and Mom had to tell H "Thanks..but, those dishes were dirty...I didn't run the dishwasher yet..." hahahaha! Y'know what, though? Mom was always one of those people that pretty much washed the dishes before they went in the dishwasher, anyway!
And I forgot that she went up to Dad's friend & his wife's house up on Lake St Clair with us! They had a huge house on the lake next door to the yacht club/country club, on the other side was a family whose back yard from house to lake was a huge "bird aviary"...and that was LOUD!! And I used to stand in the yard with binoculars & just stare out at all the big ships going by...and it was around that time that "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" was popular. Still to this day, that song makes me cry when it comes on in November. I always wonder if I might've seen that ship at some point...
H also went on vacation over to the lodge in Pennsylvania with us. It was called 'Bass Rock' (odd that I still remember that, isn't it?). I guess it was leased from Seven Springs by the company that used to let us use it (Dad was a buyer, not a salesman...buyers get more 'favors' than sellers...lol). Anyway, she jogged my memory on that, because that was a huge, sprawling cabin, with about 5 or 6 bedrooms, besides the main master bedroom, and the whole thing was, well it was a log cabin, but not the size you think of when you think that phrase! It had a huge pond out back with a dock, which is where I learned that fish like 'Chicken In A Biskit' crackers! And a big walk-out basement with a couple Jeeps & a couple of snowmobiles, and an enormous freezer down there that was always stuffed with steaks & hamburgers, and everything else! She remembered that somebody had super-glued a quarter to the floor, and Dad already knew about it (we all did), and told H "Hey, there's a quarter! Will you get that for me, it must've fallen out of my pocket!" And she tried, but, of course...If I didn't know better, I'd say Dad glued it there, cuz he was always a guy that liked stuff like that!
And I confessed to her that I'd always had a HY-UGE crush on her older brother! He never got married, doesn't have kids (that she knows of??), and lives in Florida, and he's 4 years older than us, but H says he looks 30! And always introduces her as his big sister! (well, he used to be cute & nice...)
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

more neat stuff from "long ago & far away"...

Wow...I never saw these pictures before the other day, when I was looking through the big bin of pictures Bro brought over on Easter! That's Mom with, I think, my oldest uncle, in the top picture, and maybe my youngest uncle in the bottom picture. The youngest uncle is Boo's dad! Obviously, Mom was the oldest...she has one younger sister too. But, honestly, I never realized

how exactly much I looked like Mom...especially my chin! And the bottom picture is Grandpa & Grandma...and I can see my face in Grandma's face, too! So, happy mother's day to all!!

Has anyone ever done something to you that you thought, at the time, was incredibly rude and "they'll regret doing this!" Well, maybe it was for the best in the long run, and you just didn't know it then. Lemme explain...

One Monday, when I worked an hour north, I was out doing my normal Monday price checks around town. I came walking out of one store, and a really HOT guy was standing in the parking lot, leaning against my car. I recognized him, of course, he shopped at my store all the time, but I'd never had the guts to really talk to him, I just silently stared and drooled after my routine "hi"...you see, if you look back at old pictures of George Michael in the 80's, that was the exact duplicate of this guy! Super-white teeth & all! And perfect butt, too...anyway...we talked in the parking lot for awhile, then he said he lived in the apartments by the reservoir, and we decided to go over there and talk, cuz it wasn't really comfortable to me to be standing in the parking lot of one of 'my' competitors' stores, having a lot of 'my' customers walking past me & talking to me! So we ended up going to his place, and just hanging out there for a couple hours (yes, we did kiss...how could I say no to those perfect white teeth? c'mon!!). We decided to go out that Saturday night to Lima. And I was like a celebrity to the co-workers I hung out with all week! lol! Saturday morning I was unloading my produce truck. It wasn't like I had any automatic stuff, it was all hand-unload, and the drivers' job was to get the product to the back of the truck, my job to get the case/bale/whatever it was off the back and to my cooler, or wherever it was going. (cold job in the winter!). About halfway through, Mr White Teeth's head popped up between the truck & the doorway, and he said he was really sorry to have to do this, but...(I ALWAYS hate it when there's a big ol' but at the end...), and he explained how he & his ex-girlfriend had gotten back together, then he gave me a dozen roses (I think they were yellow, which is great, that means friends)...disappointment, hello! That really did suck, but, in retrospect, didn't he do it in the kindest way possible? Really, I haven't met many men who can do something like that to this day, and look you in the eye and tell you the truth!! Honestly, I think a guy's relationship to the truth is a negative part of having a penis! Okay, can any other woman say they had a guy break a date in such a classy way?

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

tagged!

Spring is finally here...I hope!!

And this is Tif & my grand-dog, Lily! And just so nobody gets a weird-ass idea here, this is NOT Tif's tongue here, she's just babying Lily "Give Mommy a kiss, honey" It's always been fine with her if her dog licks her mouth...don't look at me, I didn't teach her that! Lily's always done everything Tif tells her to...Tiff even tells her "Get your tail, Lily, come on, bring it to Mommy!", & Lily will chase her tail around, and she'll finally grab it, and, OMG, you oughtta see her trying to take it to Tif!

I was tagged by Ricardo , the prolific author & actor, to do a "ten true things about me"...well, if you read this blog much, you probably'll already know them, but I'll try for ten new & improved things...

1. I was the youngest and the only girl, so, yes, I was a Godawful spoiled child. The last Thanksgiving dinner that Bro & G & I were all at together with Mom, we were talking about how much trouble each of us was, but I had TWO trump cards...not only was I more trouble by myself than the two of them together, I was the only one who got pregnant before I graduated! :-/

2. I've only had one car accident in my life that was my fault. And, really, I don't think that was MY fault at all, it was the Jeep Cherokee's that I was driving...I had my foot completely off the gas, on the way to the brake, but the truck kept accelerating, and slammed into the line of cars that was at the light to turn into the WalMart plaza...which actually meant that it turned out to be a 6 car accident! :-/ again.

3. All of the years I worked, they were all an hour north of this town, but I always lived in this town. Up until I worked at GTE in this town (a desk job...bleeaahhhh!), I was a produce manager in different towns north of here, and those were the best years of my life! And an hour drive north on rt 23 was way different than driving south to Columbus! There were days that it was so quiet & peaceful on the drive up, I used to see quail flying over the road, one time I saw a little red fox trotting alongside the road in a ditch beside me! No such things as traffic jams going north!

4. The most I ever weighed in my life was...138...the Friday before I had Tif. Which actually was a 40 lb weight gain from when I got pregnant as a senior in high school.

5. I've never ever lived in the country. Never ever wanted to. Never ever will! Even before I had ms, and needed to be in town where there are sidewalks to ride my scooter on (even though I'm usually on side streets, & I'm in the street anyway). I always liked living on one of the major streets in town, even when I was little. I liked going up to my grandma's farm on Sunday afternoons, after Sunday dinner, but I liked knowing that I was coming home that night too! I used to stay overnight with my cousin, Boo, sometimes, but I could never get to sleep because it was too quiet! Boo lived about 1/4 mile from Grandma's, just up the road and around the corner. And I remember the time her mom brought her down here to stay overnight with me, she couldn't sleep cuz it was too loud!

6. And one of the first guys I ever met at the first store I transferred up there to work at was a guy that Boo knew!! This town was about 20 miles from where she lived, and I couldn't believe she knew him. Okay, here's how our conversation went...

me: You know Pee-Pee?? (that was his nickname)!

Boo: Are you kidding?? I almost killed him once with my car!

me: On purpose?

Boo: Don't be goofy! I was coming home from a bar in Tiffin, and I was turning onto my road, and he was standing in the middle of the road...peeing! I had to stop and wait for him to finish, and 'shake off'!!

*pause for appropriate laughter*

See why those years were the most fun of my life?

7. I've always been a person that loved working Mondays & Saturdays when I ran a produce department. Mondays were the days to go to the other stores in town & do price checks, so I could lower my prices under everyone else's by a penny. (cheap mental trick, but it worked!) Saturdays were nothing but fun! I loved working when so many people were in shopping!

8. My alarm used to go off at 5:30 am every morning, and I was able to take a shower & blow-dry my hair & wake Tif up & feed her a bowl of cereal & take her to her babysitter's every morning, and be on my way up rt 23 by 7:00 am, and be clocking in at work at 8 am.

9. One of the funniest things we did was went to a company picnic at a park up by Tiffin. All of my friends & I got together and 'ganged up' on the company president's son (yeah, he was WAY hot...oh, & rich too!), and we silly stringed him so much he couldn't walk!!

10. Another time, we all went to a company day at Cedar Point. The hottie was there too with a date (of course!), and she ended up being a total bitch to all of us, because we were all referring to her as Barbie...in relation to the fact that we all said he was 'a Ken doll'...needless to say, that relationship sank like a rock.

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

burning bridges...

This is a VERY old picture of the front of the house Mom grew up in. That's my Grandma & Grandpa's farm up around Tiffin. We always went up every Sunday afternoon, & I got to see my cousins, and play outside on the farm all afternoon!

This is the only formal family picture we ever had done...top left is Bro, top right is G, in the front is me, & "Mommie & Daddie".& look at what a hippie Bro was!! lol! And now he owns a super-successful construction company! So see, parents, don't EVER give up & say your kids are hopeless!

Burning bridges...that is the worst thing you will ever do in your life, you know? And if you were at all like me, you thought that was just the stupidest thing you ever heard a parent say "don't burn bridges...you may want to go back & use them again.". Well, you know what? I was fortunate enough not to burn my old bridges...they've always been there for me when I've come back to them. Which I, like everybody else, swore I'd NEVER have to do! But the older I get, the more people I run into from my past, and I'm pretty happy that I never have to wonder "did we fight the last time I saw him/her?" But I know an awful lot of people that do have that problem...there's two ways to avoid that. Either be nice to everyone...or just be a total bitch to everyone all the time. Hmmmmmm....kinda like "tell the truth all the time...that way you don't have to have such a good memory"

I'm just hearing all kinds of shit on the news lately...I'm staying away from the politics of certain people here, just the major parties. I have totally decided that I do not want to be affiliated with either one. Republican-you say you're a Republican, everybody thinks you're a totally uptight, stick-in-the-ass, stuffy, no sense of humor asshole, unless it's a racist joke. Okay, that's not me...Democrat, you want big government to take care of you, because you're too totally imbecile to take care of yourself...as a matter of fact, put that soda down, & put out that cigarette, whatsamatter with you? And the Democrats are supposed to be the party of tolerance? I beg to differ...did anyone see Perez Hilton going off on the beauty queen contestant who said in her opinion, marriage should be between a man & a woman? Perez Hilton is the epitome of a lot of the Democrats you see & hear from...and in my opinion, that is anything BUT tolerant!! Republicans haven't done anything lately to 'write home about'...but, in my opinion, Democrats haven't either. Well, they're spending money faster than they can print it, but ANYBODY could do that! Just look back a few years, Bush did a good part of it too. Tolerant is supposed to mean you don't judge people for their opinions, if they don't hurt you, why the hell is it your business what they believe? You know? I try really hard not to be judgmental about stuff that people do or believe if it's not the way I think or believe...but it's not all THAT hard...sheesh! That must be why my mom & dad instilled in me first thing "You never talk about politics, or religion, or how much money anybody makes". I was taught that probably from before I could talk coherently!! You know, now that I think about it, maybe those are just basic 'niceties' & politeness that kids aren't taught anymore, because they're "old-fashioned". Ya know what? Gimme some old-fashioned manners, cuz maybe the reason kids are so "godawful" today, is that they're not taught any manners when they're growing up!

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!