Saturday, May 20, 2006
I don't know what to write about today. Well, I do, but I'm using severe avoidance tactics to deal with everything going on right now.
My bro went to the hospital Thurs morning, and talked to Dad about the fact that he was going to have to go to a nursing home because of Mom's stage 4 lung cancer, and that she needs to take care of herself right now, and when she's dealing with her diagnosis, she shouldn't have to be depended on to be someone's maid or caregiver. From what I understand, it was all very calm and civil and Dad understood completely where he was going to go, and why. Bro wouldn't let Mom go out there with him, he told her to stay home, he could take care of this...and it seemed like he did, he handled it very well, and diplomatically. (he's always been the go-to guy when me & our oldest brother, or our parents got into it...he likes to say "I'm neutral....think of me as Switzerland!").
So they took Dad to the nursing home yesterday and got him settled. This morning Mom called me and said that Dad had called her Friday night and demanded for her to get him out of there...now! She said well, where should I take you? He thought about it for a second, and said well, maybe you could take me home? She told him no, his doctor and hers both said he can't stay at home with her on their own with no nurses. Turns out, she found out that he wouldn't do anything for himself, refused to eat anything, refused to get out of bed...today he'd refused breakfast, refused to get out of bed and get dressed and get up...holy shit! Now you can see exactly where I get my bullheaded-ness from, huh? I don't know anything about nursing homes at all, but in my Dad's situation, the doctor wants him to get up and move, even if it's just to the tv room where other people are, he even wants him to get some physical therapy. Which Mom joked with the dr about...'you gotta be kidding! somebody's gonna have to be standing over him with a whip for that!' and the dr said, well, somebody out here WILL make him do it. Aaahhh, it really is worse than anybody knew. Mom said he's had a habit lately of sittting in their rocking chair in front of the bigscreen tv with a blanket...over his head. And when she was there this morning, he looked at her and asked her who she was. She said Oh Bob, you know exactly who I am! But yet, all the tests they've done on him, all the dr's say he does not have Alzheimer's.This whole thing just sucks, and nobody can DO shit about it! I just found out today that my oldest brother was the only one who talked to Mom's dr after surgery, and when he told him about the cancer being stage 4, he also used the word grim. I know, I know....It is what it is...well, pardon my mouth, but what it is, is a big fat load of horseshit!! Dammit!!