Wednesday, April 20, 2005

how i feel today...

...well, I'm still feeling great today (yay!). However, I don't feel normal, or anything....of course, I need to 'get over myself', and realize that, after 10 years and 4 months, that "used to be's don't count anymore...they just stay on the floor 'til you sweep them away." Grrrrr!! I've fallen on my ass twice today, even when I was standing right beside my walker! I'm gonna have the biggest bruise on my left butt cheek, and I'm SURE that will be real attractive!! Oh well, at least it was someplace that had some built in padding...some bounce, if you will! I remember that when my cousin & I were running around & partying together,(age-early 20's), I was at her party in Sycamore, Ohio, and I was (of course, as always) drunker than shit on tequila!! I loved the shit...without a chaser...just a drink of beer would do! ran into a wall in front of about 30 people that were there, and Lori saw that I had ran into my chest...she started dying laughing, and pointed and yelled, "Pray for swelling!!" And I still talk to her...amazing...:-)
She's also the one that took me to a bar in Toledo named 'Charlie's Blind Pig'. It was right across the street from Northern Ohio College for the Blind, and I will never forget their neon sign out was a red pig walking on its back legs (like a person)...and it had black glasses with X's on them that it was wearing...and a fuckin' cane with a white tip! I'd said, "That's tacky!", and the guy sitting in the next booth said, "who's gonna know?". Now that is just wrong!
Of course, it was the best time of my life, the great old politically incorrect 80's! I always dream, at least 4 times a week, in my sleep about working in the store in Fostoria, Ohio, which is where I requested a transfer to after I'd been a produce mgr here in my town for abouut 6 months & heard the girl there was transferring up to one of the stores on Lake Erie. So I got it, but still lived here, cuz Tiff had the best babysitter in the world...and my mom & dad lived here too...1 hour south of that store. I drove an hour in the morning to work everyday, and an hour home every night...I was usually there from 7:30 am to 6 pm...and I did that for 3 years! But, oh my God, did I grow up a lot there! And Tiffany was 2 to 5 years old. Anyway, I think I always start dreaming about it this time of year, because I took the transfer in the beginning of April, God, I still remember that! I still remember how scared I was the first day! But then I found my feet there, and liked it....really had no choice, I NEEDED the job!! Had a baby to feed, remember? So, in my dreams, I NEVER have ms!! And I was unloading the daily produce truck...oh's storming, I gotta get be continued...
Okay...I'm back! After two lightning strikes that actually hit in my BACKYARD!! I was still healthy enough & strong enough (at 108 lbs!....same as now...was only 98 lbs before I built some muscles!) to hand-unload all the trucks that pulled up to the produce backdoor. Last night I dreamed about unloading the 150 bags of potatoes (50 lbs each). And as I was pulling the first skid out to the floor to put out for display, an old lady asked me if there was a guy around to put one on the bottom of her cart...I told her that's ok, I'll get it, and after I did it, she said 'you shouldn't be doing that...some day, your womanparts are going to slide right down your legs!' That was actually said to me in real life, so maybe my memories come back to me in my dreams. I don't know...whatever...most are good memories, though, so it's all good. Well, the rest of the dream I shouldn't get into (it was something only a dumb kid would've done...!)
"We cannot appeal to the conscience of the world when our own conscience is asleep."

No comments: