Tuesday, July 12, 2005

old funny stuff...

Well, since nothing's going on around here today (thank GOD!!), I guess I'll just have to dig around in my memory for funny shit that happened, "ago". Cuz I don't even feel like thinking about anything serious today, much less writing about it!! Well, some stuff I wrote about awhile ago, about when Tiff was 6 and Kevin & I had just gotten married and before we bought this house OMG, we bought tihs house 15 years ago next month! So, we had bratwurst for dinner, and Kevin & I were clearing off the table, and I got an evil idea while Tiff was in the living room. I went in the bathroom and threw a cooked bratwurst in the toilet...a few minutes later, Tiff went in there to go to the bathroom (just as I thought...she wouldn't look in the toilet before she sat down), the next thing we heard was "Mommy!! I pooped a bratwurst!!" She's gonna kill me if she knew I wrote that! Then, once when Kevin's cousin & her family came up from Florida, and stayed at his mom & dad's house with their kids, Tiff was really close with Tricia (their daughter...same age), and they went outside after we all ate to jump on the trampoline in the backyard (& wouldn't that be a pretty sight if someone got sick!). So "Uncle Ken" & Kevin & I grabbed a couple of flashlights (hiding them under our shirts), & went outside, looking cautiously around. The girls noticed that, and started laughing and pointing..."HAHA! Look at the big babies!". Ken said "No...we're just looking for the jackal we heard was running around here." They freaked out for a second, then realized it was only Uncle Ken saying that, if it was dangerous to be out, Grandma & Grandpa wouldn't have let anyone out of the house. So, they went on jumping while we walked around to the front of the house. Then we walked up beside it so we could see the backyard, and Ken took 2 penlite flashlights, and held them up beside each other & turned them on, and yelled "Oh no, there's the jackal!" and all Tiff & Trish (about 10 yrs old) could see when they looked was the 2 lights that looked like eyes! Oh man, you never heard anybody scream like that ..."Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle Ken...!" Notice, they didn't call the women! Good thing, cuz I was rolling on the ground laughing, trying not to pee my pants!! And the one 4th of July that Tiff & her friends were outside playing with sparklers (about 9 years old), and Kevin & I decided to celebrate too, so I grabbed a handful of those little paper thingys that you don't light, you just throw them down hard, and they pop. I took them into the bathroom and put them under the toilet seat (ya, again with the toilet humor!) She came in a few minutes later and ran to the bathroom to pee, sat down, and all we heard was "POP" "POP" "POP" "POP"!! And "Mom! DAD!!" She yelled for 'dad' louder cuz she knew it was me that did it! But, lemme ask you? Is it not our job to do our best to embarrass our daughters, before they're teenagers, and they do it to us? N'est pas? I told my mom about the time I held up a box of 'fresh scent' douche in Wal-Mart, and yelled to her, about two aisles away, "Is this the flavor you wanted?"...My mom said "that's horrible! I never would've done that to you!" And I was thinking...'maybe THAT was the problem...you had zero sense of humor...' but, no, I did NOT say that!
Well, I'm ready for some tv, so I'm outta here!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

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