August first...ya know...dog days...well, okay...now it's the second.....

didn't didi

Hmmmm^...guilty?? and...morans??...that doesn't even sound right!!

I was busy yesterday...my cousin Boo and her mom (used to be married to Mom's youngest brother, but they divorced years ago...nicely) came down here. Ny mom came over and we went out to lunch, and we were out forever!!

Then we came back here, & it was SO funny!! See, with my ms, I can walk (mostly, anyway...as long as I have something or someone to keep my balance, which is my worst symptom). So, we were getting up the 5 steps to my porch, and all of a sudden, my legs got really stiffened up, & I couldn't bend them, so I just sat down on the second step. I wasn't hurt at all, I just sat on my ass so I didn't get hurt. So, I'm sitting there and Boo says, 'oh, I'll help you...hold on...'. What does Boo do? She friggin' grabbed hold of me under the arms and fuckin' dragged me backwards up the rest of the stairs!! While I was dying laughing the whole time, by the way! I told her I could see why she was a great mom and kindergarten teacher!! LOL! Well, she must be a great mom, cuz she has 4 kids, and they're all so smart!! My God, she doesn't think IQ tests are worth a shit, but her 2 youngest kids had to take an IQ test before they started school, and at the age of 7 or 8, their IQ's were higher than mine!! (only by one or 2 points, but STILL!!).

Then we all came in here, and I grabbed a couple of books that I knew they'd love..."Nightfall" for my aunt, cuz she's as obssessed with TWA flight 800, the same as me, cuz I think their explanation for it was bullshit...if anyone paid attention to that, it was the first terrorist attack...IMHO...

And I gave Boo the book 'More Is Never Enough', that's all about how Americans always want the newest, biggest, best products...which kinda leads to why this country's citizens are in debt over their heads, and how people want their new houses built with way more room than they need, you know 4 or 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms...with 2 kids...!!

Who knows when I'll get the books back, though, cuz they both live about an hour north of me...howEVER...I need to at least store the books somewhere for awhile...I'm running out of room! ;-D!!

Hmmmmm.....what else....oh, on the Israel/Lebanon/Hezbollah conflict...I listen to everything I can on the news about it, and, what I think (not that anyone listens, but they oughtta!)...when this all started, I think the Lebanese society wanted Hezbollah out of there, they didn't like them, thought they were nothing but trouble. But, after Israel bombed the house and killed 60+ regular women & children, even if the house was being used as a place where Hezbollah used citizens as human shields...I think the mood on the street in Lebanon is getting to be, "What do those Jews think they're doing? They're killing our people! We might not like Hezbollah, but at least they're not Jews!!" Why can't people understand this??

I don't like what Bush is doing in the middle east, but, if we weren't there, they'd be here! Even more than their cells are, all over the US. And, God only knows how many more 9/11's we'd have. But the whole mideast is like a fucking wasp's nest, and when we get involved in anything there, it's like putting a stick in the nest and stirring it up. So whatta ya do? You can't leave them alone, you can't do a damn thing about 'em. But I want everyone to remember, like Billy Joel says....."We didn't start the fire."

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

i'm actually missing jenga (but DO NOT tell truman!)

I did almost less than nothing today...(I sound like I'm proud of that shit, don't I?). Well, it was really, really hot outside today, so I didn't go out, I went from sitting on the bed in front of that air conditioner reading, stretched out & took a nap. then came out here to the dining room, plopped down here in front of the computer, & the huge air conditioner, and I've only been up from here to pee & take a shower...(it's a good thing I got up to pee, huh? I'd hate to be sitting in a puddle now...).

Well, I did watch some movies today. I turned on the media center tv in the computer, and checked out all the movie channels we get with digital cable, and I found "Flight Plan", which I had rented the first day it was out, and it was excellent. First "Independence Day" was on, so I watched that too. And I caught something in that movie that I hadn't before. Okay, get this...aliens are positioning their huge craft over our major cities...the people who are there to reassure us & protect us are on tv saying, "Don't panic...If you decide to leave the city, please go in an orderly fashion." Correct me if I'm wrong, but...if you can't panic now, when the hell are you supposed to?? And it seems to me that the minute somebody says, "Don't panic.", you fucking know that there's something to panic about!

I would love to know if there's any way that a person could possibly 'grow out' of OCD! Because, everything I see on the Discovery Health Channel about it...well, those behaviors were me, before I got to the 6th grade! I had to do something a certain number of times, had to go up the stairs stepping only on certain steps, had to hold my breath if I walked past a person who looked different, or 'yucky', etc...but nobody ever knew about any of that. I don't think those are normal behaviors for a kid under the age of 12 or so, are they? But from what I've heard & watched about OCDs, you just don't get over them that easily, do ya? And I have none of that left at all. At least as far as I know...of course...maybe people in my life are just being polite and not telling me...naaahhhh, people in my life aren't that polite.

Well, shit, it's 3:30 am, and I really oughtta go to bed and quit watching the Health Channel, before I end up with nightmares. The worst shows ever on here is shows about kids who are born with something wrong with them...I thank God all the time that Tif had nothing wrong with her! I could never be pregnant now, knowing everything that could go wrong with a baby during pregnancy!

Okay...update on my mom...I call her every morning to see how she is, and she always says she's fine, but, you know how moms are...they wouldn't tell you if their heads fell off & they were kicking around on the kitchen floor to find it (you know...the eyes are in the head, remember?). She's only had 2 chemo treatments so far, and in my opinion, why have they waited so long to start them? And she told me yesterday that she's not gonna get any for 2 weeks, because her oncologist is gonna be on vacation...HUH??? She said, oh well, he doesn't want anybody else to handle it while he's gone. I'm sorry, but I lost it! I said, "What in the hell are you talking about?? It's his vacation...it's your freakin' life!!!" She said "Now Libby, he's going to have to go on vacation sometime, and somebody's going to get sicker while he's gone" And I said, "Maybe he should've thought about that before he decided to go into oncology, and he should've opened an office for family practice or something!!"

But when the PA went over what's gonna happen with the chemo...she was told that with the low dose she's going to get, she shouldn't have a problem with getting sick & puking, but her hair will fall out. And she totally lost her appetite after the first time. I asked her if she wanted to come over and smoke a joint with me, but she politely demurred...not that I have any, but, for my mom, I'd send Tif somewhere to buy the shit! Or make her take me to buy it! Cuz I'm sure she doesn't get high, but I know for a fact that she has friends that do. Then after I got off the phone with her, I started wanting to rip my tongue out...I actually asked the person who's been closest to me for my whole life if she wanted to smoke ANYTHING!! She has fucking stage 4 lung cancer, fakkrissakes!!

Okay, that's it...done...

BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

thursday, july 27

Believe it or not...I'm 'babysitting' my granddog today, because I asked to!! Jenga stayed overnight with Tif last night...God, how did I EVER get to like this dog this much?? I've tried, but just never 'connected' with any dogs before, but she is so well-behaved!! Almost as nice & calm as Truman, but, well...nahhhh. It was really funny this morning. She came downstairs & looked around the corner, and Truman was right there in her face!! And she actually jumped!! LOL!! I guess I have fun with her because I can let her out back in the fenced-in yard, and see her run around & act like she's fierce, you know, barking at the dog she can't see on the other side of the fence! Funny thing is...I KNOW that dog, and Jenga would be half a mouthful for it!! So I guess it's a good thing for her that we have a 6-foot wood fence around the yard!!
I called Mousie up north yesterday. That was funny too, cuz her daughter was the one that answered the phone, and I swear, I thought for sure it was Mouse! They sound exactly the same! They both have really cute voices, almost like Minnie Mouse! She's been pretty disgusted with the college classes she just got done taking, though, cuz she's been looking for a job in that 'growing field' of medical insurance billing & coding for months, and she said that every place she's talked to (like hospitals, dr's ofcs, etc), well, they all want people with experience! Man, do I remember that line from when I was young, trying to find a job...."how am I gonna get experience if nobody'll ever give me a chance?" And I bet it really sucks for Mouse, cuz she's my age...so, of course....she's too old to hire! She does start a job Monday doing something else (that she doesn't like!). And I said that'll help, cuz it's MUCH easier to find a job when you already have one! I remember when I worked in grocery stores, if somebody put in an application and they didn't have a job now, well, that app got filed in the trash. Cuz, well, if you aren't already used to getting up and showing up every day for work, it's pretty likely you won't immediately pick up the habit....but, oh, well, that was many years ago, I'm sure it's different now...(hopefully).
Cool...'Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion' is on! And on that note...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

wednesday again, already....

Hey, I'm back!! Nope, I didn't actually GO anywhere, just, well, to be perfectly honest, I didn't fuckin' feel like writing, okay??

Tif gave me a total makeover on Monday...and I'm SO glad I turned her loose on my hair, cuz she did the right thing, and I finally had the guts to leave her alone & quit saying, "No, do it like this!" So, keep in mind, this is the first time I've changed my hairstyle in about 15 years..it's now totally blonde with brown underneath, chin-length, and straight!! I love it!! I told her that I'm totally impressed with her being able to look at a picture in a magazine, and know how to give me that cut! She said 'Mom, that's what I was in school for 2 1/2 years for!!' But, c'mon...lots of people were in that school for that long...and THEY can't do it!! Kevin pointed out that she is so totally talented at this stuff, she can pretty much look at a hairstyle and know whether it's something that'll work with their hair. Then she went skippin' into the bathroom, and grabbed her big ol' makeup case, and pushed me back down in the chair! So, all in all, that was Monday, from noon until about 6 or 7!
So, other than that, I've just been doing normal 'summer stuff'. Oh, and I opened my latest eBay shipment last night. I got 6 hardcover/dustjacketed books for....a penny!!! (+ shipping, of course). But, I was up at 3 am opening the box, & they're all in perfect condition! So...6 brand new books that I wanted for 7.95 ....doesn't get much better than that, now, does it??
The other night I was out in the kitchen making a sandwich, and all of a sudden, I turned around to get something else out of the refrigerator, and there was Jenga, Tif & Zak's dog!! She was just standing there looking up at me with those cute little hopeful eyes (aaaahhhh...so THAT'S what the expression 'puppy dog eyes' means!), wagging the piece of fluff attached to her butt.
A few nights ago, I heard my old favorite video game in the living room! It was Mario Kart!! They had dug out the Nintendo 64 from upstairs and hooked it all up down here. They also had Mario Golf, Super Mario Bros, and all the other games down here! WooHoo!! I think all those games are SO much more fun than all the X-Box shit! Plus, I think if it was me, I'd have tried to upgrade the first X-Box somehow, because none of the X-Box games from the first one work with this new-ish one. Yuk...and it's all "boy games"...which are okay, but not 100% of the time! Of course, Kevin always has to remind us that Nintendo is for little girls & housewives...which, ummmm, think about it...who are we??
Okay, I guess I'm done...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

wenesday/thursday...

Is this one of the cutest things you've ever seen?? Okay, maybe it's not for you, but I love to see them staring down each other!

Kim & I went to Wal-Mart yesterday, and took her 12-year old son...just to do some shopping & goof off like we used to...because, kids, always remember..."having fun & acting silly & being a total smartass is the secret to a long & happy life"...(yeah...as if I'd know). But it's done well for me so far.
We all had a really good time yesterday. Kim even called me later, to tell me as soon as they dropped me off, her boy said 'That was fun, Mom. Libby's hilarious!" I think I had even more fun than him, though, cuz I had one of those big, ugly, stupid-looking electric carts (yeah, there's the damn attitude again..), and we were all over that store, I'm not kidding, for about 3 hours!! First we went over to the shampoo & soap side, & walked around, and her son, A3, was doing the same thing everybody does when they're looking at liquid soap or shampoo...every lid off, and smelling all of them. So, of course, I had to pull the cart up beside him every once in a while, and just at the right time when he was sniffing, squeeze the bottle a little bit so he got a noseful of it! Or I'd quietly pull around a corner by A3, and be right beside him looking at him, and all of a sudden, I'd start beeping the silly little horn.
It was really neat having somebody else with us that we could say "Oh, crap! I forgot to get that box of chicken-in-a-biskit crackers, and they're all the way back there!" and he'd head off in that direction. Hey, at least I never took the box and, when his back was turned, put it on a shelf and left it there! Now, when I was his age I definitely woulda done that to Kim! So, I'm maturing, right? Kinda...but a few aisles later, I'd say, "Oh!! Damn, I saw a huge, enormous middle aisle display of some chocolate chip cookies back there, and I just zoomed on past, but I meant to grab a couple...", and then I'd look up at that cute little boy, and give him the sad, puppy-dog eyes. Voila! So I got one package of choc chip with fudge stripes, and one pack of choc chip with m&m's!
I also did Kim a favor, and told her how to buy produce when we went down that aisle. I saw the kind of salad I wanted, and reached for the one on the back end of the row. Kim's like, "Quit it!! What are ya doing? You're gonna get in trouble!!", and I told her that after 10 years of running a produce department, I know where the freshest stuff is! Or should be, anyway... (it was).
Then to the register...get thru it, pay, and I'm riding the cart to the front door, then noticed an older lady in one in front of me...I pulled up beside her & said "wanna race?". Hey, at least I got her to smile....
We get home here & they're helping me put away the stuff. I pulled my pack of watermelon bubble gum outta the bag, and say 'hey look! i found good old regular watermelon bubble gum!'. Kim looks over at it, and said 'did you buy that?'. Hmmm...I just pointed at her son, and said 'Of course not! I had him steal it!'
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

received in email today, from Joe's (ny best friend in my 20's) mom

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,be afraid that it will never begin.~anonymous

I think this came at a perfect time in my life!

LibbY!

Kim & I now, a few days later...no, not the pictures!!

Message to all bloggers...puh-leez do not do this, no matter how hot it is outside, it's just painful for the rest of us!!

So I finally called Kim last night, and told her again that I'm sorry I might've gone overboard on her, and she said she was sorry for doing that at the funeral. And, just like I knew we would, that's all we said, and we're back to normal...(good thing too..otherwise all I'd be doing is bitching on here...oh, I already am!! lol!). Well, we just got off the phone, again, I called her today at 3...so, that was, like an hour and a half...! Can you say 'high school' all over again?
Tif told me yesterday that she was out in the back of the kitchen folding her laundry Friday night. She heard the people next door out in their pool, splashing around, and laughing. They've lived there for about 10 yrs, have kids that are only a little younger than Tif, we talk...So, Tif learned a big friggin' lesson that night...she pulled the curtain back to look at the pool...and Burt was naked standing on the side getting ready to dive in!! She got done telling me & Zak that, then she's like, "Eeeeewww, Mom!! He's probably your age!!" That was only a little bit funny...
Then I asked her what was she gonna do next time Burt came to the door to have Kev come over & fix his computer? I would pay to see her look him in the face...I'll try to get a picture of it for everybody!
Kim and I also got all over some, well, ok, a lot of weird subjects...you know how you're sitting there talking to a friend, and you get a "remember when..." moment? We went from my second French teacher in 9th grade (who was a really fat cow...too many French pastries, no doubt...) and the fact that a couple years later she married my geometry teacher...now that didn't make a picture you'd want to think about much...ya know...once you see something, you can't unsee it. She was 25 and he was almost 70, & he was all nasty, & wrinkly, and saggy and stuff.
And the fact that you can't walk into any school lunchroom any more without tripping over more Coke & Pepsi machines than at, like, a gameroom or somewhere! I said that really sucked, cuz OUR generation wasn't fat....but the only pop machine was 1 in the teacher's lounge, that you could see when a teacher came out of there...if the smoke from their cigarettes in there wasn't too thick to see through. I think all they should get at school is milk, or water, or 100% juice!
And the fact that for some reason, A, Kim's daughter, is a lot like I was in school...only with even better grades! No kidding, she got straight A's all through school, started taking college classes in her junior year + high school...I still say I was smarter, though, cuz she got caught doing stuff she shouldn'tve done all the time...but I was slick!
And how when her house got struck by lightning the other night & fried 4 tv's, a laptop that was plugged in & charging, and their desktop computer, too, it was actually something we laughed our asses off at, because she told me that her husband had just come back in after going back out to close the windows in the car that she had left open, and was doing the ol' "Shit, motherf******, dammit!!", she said 'hey! it's Sunday! Don't say that stuff!" (she goes to church every week...he doesn't). And all of a sudden, there was a big crack of thunder, and the lights went out!
And the fact that she bought a Kirby vacuum cleaner from one of those door-to-door salesmen for over $500.00 a while ago, because she hates to vacuum, and he must have been one helluva salesman, because she was telling me the next day, "Oh, it's gonna make it SO easy! It does this, & this, & this, oh, and that too! And it has all these attachments and stuff!" I just said, "Uh huh" at that time, cuz I freakin' know better...I dated a guy who sold Kirby sweepers, & I got the "dirt" on that sales pitch years ago!! Now she's had it for about 4 months, and she HATES it! She wants her old upright back that only cost about $100, and you can get 'em at WalMart..."It wasn't this aggravating & there's too much stuff with it, and it's all heavy....". lol!
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

Kim & I currently...

Truthfully...I think HE did it...but maybe that's just me!! And, the other one is me & Tif 21 years ago. Weren't we cute? haha! Keep in mind, this was a few years before my nose job...
Okay, and hopefully, this is the last post I have that's not a happy one...I'd like to get some opinions about what I did...
Kim called me last night, and I was really honest about why I hadn't called her for the last few days...
She went up & talked to my cousin, Boo, at Dad's funeral about the fact that she thinks I'd feel better if I got out more. Hmmm...last I knew, she was not a fucking psychologist...nor did I EVER tell her that it would be okay for her to talk to a third party about something I had talked to Kim in confidence about. To me, it's not her business to go talk to someone else about my 'problems'! Yes, I had talked to Boo about my 'restlessness', but that was MY BUSINESS!! I sure as hell don't need anyone analyzing me with my cousin behind my fucking back!! The other thing is, Boo lives am hour away, she has 4 kids, she's a teacher, and works with her kids a lot...Basically, why would you tell someone who has absolutely no fucking way to help with it?? Boo can't get down here all the time to take me out, for God's sake!! And I'd never ask anyone to, anyway!! When I want to go somewhere, I ask Tiffany!! Or someone!! God!! Please sew Kim's mouth shut RIGHT NOW!! I just was honest with her last night on the phone, told her how 'hurtful' that was for her to do! By then I had tears running down my face, and Tif & Zak were sitting here. Tif came over beside me and put her arm around me, and whispered, "Mom, just hang up on that bitch!! She's stupid!!" Needless to say, Tif HATES Kim! Can you tell?
I told her that no, I wouldn't hang up on her, we've been best friends since we were 12, and if we can't straighten this out by being honest, well, I'll be done! By then, Kim was crying too, and apologizing, and I told her I accept the apology, but I wanna go, & I'll call her back today. In your opinions, was I wrong??
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

I'm back!

These all look like fun, right? The gray cat on the Christmas present is Truman, our cat! And the other two, I found just surfing around on here. A really good website to go to is kittyporn.com !

I need to tell all of you...thank you SO MUCH for all the good wishes & prayers on my last post! They truly did make me feel better, just knowing there are so many nice people out there!! So, thank you all!!

The calling hours and funeral went really well. I saw lots of family I hadn't seen in years! I was taken by surprise when a guy, I had no idea who he was, came up to the wheelchair I was sitting in, & said 'Libby!' I said yeah, and looked at him, trying to think if he looked even a little bit familiar. Uh-uh..I didn't recognize him, but all of a sudden, he bent down & gave me a huge hug, and said "Oh, I haven't seen you since you were two!! You look great!! Remember me? I'm your Cousin Bobby!!" Hmmmm...no WAY did I remember him from when I was 2!! But he was nice, a little odd, but nice. He was the son of one of Dad's sisters. The only thing I remember from Dad's family in Michigan is that I went to one of my cousins' (not Bobby) birthday party one time, and after she blew out the candles on the cake, and they put a piece on my plate, I went to Mom and buried my face in her skirt, and kinda was crying, and said "Mommy, I don't want cake! Snif, snif...she spitted on it when she blew out the candles!!" Well, she probably did!! She's slow, and maybe a little retarded. Of course, it's most of their family's opinion that her mom & dad made her that way... :-/

Anyway, the next day at the funeral was very hard. I'm sure it was a lot harder for Bro, cuz he went up and gave the first part of the eulogy, and he did good, but choked up at the end...& that's when I started crying...and I didn't stop til we were all on the way to the cemetary. Bro asked Kev to be a pallbearer, so he did. And this is very bad, because Kevin said he's never been to a funeral as an adult, without being a pallbearer. I felt bad for him. He told me after we got home, the casket was the heaviest he's ever felt, even though my dad only weighed about 104 lbs!! It was a pecan wood, looked beautiful (as beautiful as a casket can look, anyway.) I guess that's like someone saying, "Oh, you should get that wheelchair! It's gorgeous!" (&, yes, I have heard that!).

Anyway, I'm just amazed at how much everything costs! Casket, 3,100...crypt that has to go in the ground with the casket in it, 1,300...death notices for all the banks & stuff, 20.00 apiece (& we got 10!)...the things that go in the newspaper, well, each paper charges different, but the one I remember is, Detroit Free Press, 395.00! Did I say, "Free Press"? Hmmmph...

And that's all I remember, although I'm sure there's a lot more!!

After the burial, we went over to my Uncle "Sam's" house for food, cuz they had all kinds of stuff there (you know...funerals bring out the cook in everyone!). That uncle is my mom's younger brother, and after we left there, we drove all around, and I pointed out all the houses that Mom's family owns. There's about 6 of her family members that live in the area, about a five-mile area, in the country, they're farmers, & they sell seeds (not pot, you idiots!), the uncle that inherited my Grandma's house raises sheep...it's just cool up there! One of my ancestors got an autograph from Andrew Jackson, when he was up in that area (I guess walking around!) on a sheepskin, and they still have it! Yeah. I used to think this was all boring and shit, but now I love it!! I even looked up my family on the web, and found the woman I was named after, my mom's Grandma!

All right....'nuff about that...

Libby!

summer 2006...

Yup, life truly does suck this year. My dad died yesterday afternoon at the nursing home. Tiff & I rode to the funeral home this am with Bro & his son, & met Mom & Psycho up there...it's in a town about 45 min north of us, cuz Mom & Dad have had burial plots in a cemetary up there close to my Mom's family's farm for about 25 years...they have the gravestone already with their names on it. I think I'm still in shock with all that's going on this summer...and, no matter how bad I feel, I have to multiply that by, oh, infinity, for my mom, because she had her 'port' for her chemo that she's gonna get for her lung cancer, implanted yesterday morning, before this happened. Then today, we went to the funeral home to set everything up for the visitation & funeral..then Mom & Psycho had to get back to town, because Mom had an appointment with her oncologist to schedule the chemo. Oh, and by the way...their 56th wedding anniversary would have been July 18th. Oh, this is really bad...I still think I'm in shock or something, I haven't lost it, but I'm sure that's coming Sunday, after the calling hrs. It still feels unreal, like it's someone else's life I'm living...what was really strange was when the director asked us this morning how many death certificates we thought we'd need, you know, for the banks, the investment places, insurance places, etc...I guess that was very odd to hear that phrase used in the same sentence with my dad's name. Can't write anymore...I probably won't be around for a few days...

Libby

Independence Day...

Happy Fourth of July!!

Kim Jong-Il thinks he's a bad-ass, trying to intimidate the world by firing 2 medium-range rockets today...and the news just reported that they think N Korea fired the long-range missile that could reach the United States. (they did, but it failed a couple seconds into it..haha!)
Unfortunately for Kim Jong-Il, a lot of the whole problem, and reason this is taking place is pretty obvious to all. I think he's really jealous that, right now, Iran is getting the world's attention, by working on their nuclear program. America is much more concerned with Iran and their nuclear plans right now. You know what I think could be a good idea? The leaders of both nations are such babyish little control freaks (especially N Korea!) that, maybe, just maybe, that could work to everyone's advantage. You know...tell Kim Jong-Il something about "Man, that Iran is getting so close to having a nuke! They're scaring the shit out of everyone! Damn...it's such a relief that everybody knows that N Korea is too weak with everything...can't feed their own people, have to have armed guards at the Chinese border to keep their people IN !! Geez...Iran's leader must have his country under his thumb...people that live there could go if they wanted to, but they must like him!" Meanwhile, KJI is standing there just gritting his teeth, waiting til he's alone and can stomp his tiny little feet and pound his tiny little fist on something!
After the person talking leaves, KJI runs down the hallway & grabs the phone, and sets a nuke up immediately to fire at Iran. Iran gets this news, and loads a nuke directed at NK, which it also fires immediately. Voila...

continuance...

Here I go again...just remembering this house...I haven't been over by it again, I swore I wouldn't after the man that bought it from Mom & Dad in 1986 died. He took care of it so well for the 20 years he had it, I went over and went through it again and took Kev & his mom through it....and that was awesome to see it again. I moved out April 8, 1983, and went back through it April 6, 2003. I didn't even plan for it to be almost 20 years to the day! The old picture was taken in about 1929...the man standing there used to be President Harding's secretary, and lived in this house with his parents. And, yes, when I went back through it, there were a few things in the attic that were mine. I left 'em, they belong with that house...and that's what they told me after I said that!

I was continuing my thinking about what I wrote about last night, and you can actually follow that thought to a pretty logical conclusion.

Some women that don't have a strong sense of who they are while they're growing up, can be flattered by the first guy that pays attantion to her, and likes the attention...sometimes it's good attention, sometimes not. That can be a pattern that happens through life, and it obviously needs some help to get it stopped!

If it doesn't, it kinda stands to reason that that's where physical abuse starts. And, first of all, I've never had to deal with that personally, the first time that temper showed up, I was gone. I think that's because I was lucky enough to have Bro around...he wasn't Mr Badass, but...would any teenage guy (or older, even) be stupid enough to even think about touching a girl who had 2 older brothers?

But I have known lots of girls, in high school and beyond, that have nobody to tell them that they deserve better! Somehow, the girls/women that let this go on, seem to think they're lesser than the guys they're with. And, no matter how many times you try to explain it to them, all this means is that the guy who hits & disrespects his woman is so insecure it's not able to be hidden from the world! Well, the other guys that are like that can admire his 'control', but no thinking person...but, to me, it seems that the guys that act like that, are still in their high school or younger mindset. They are so afraid of losing control of anything, they refuse to share that 'control'. I dunno...I'm just kinda rambling now. I honestly have no personal reason to think about this, but I do know way too many girls and women that deal with this. Maybe I've read too many blogs that talk about this...

Anyway, I absolutely have to go, the movie 'Throw Momma From The Train' just started, and I LOVE that movie!!

"Owen! Owen!!" I got pretty good at Momma's voice in the 80's, when the movie first came out.

Libby!

deep thoughts...

...for such a shallow mind..

Is there a 'tipping point' at which age the power goes from girls to boys, and then in adulthood, women get it back?

Anyone who's been around boys & girls in elementary school age, girls seem to hold all the 'power'. Their brain games, with each other, and against the boys...well...they are devious!! But boys don't want to have anything to do with words at that age, it's all about who is tougher, who can hit harder, who has more toy cars, whose dad is better...yadayadayada. Meanwhile, the little girls who look so cute, and innocent you think they never had a bad thought in their heads are grouping together the cliques that they will pretty much be in for their whole school life, and you can always count on the fact that there will be a group of 3 little girls that will say they're 'best friends', but, for some reason, only 2 of them like each other at the same time...however, before they get to the 5th grade, they all get together and 'hate stupid boys' again. And one of the things girls start doing at a very young age and are accomplished at, is 'whispering', and telling secrets to each other, and about each other!

Then comes 6th grade through 9th grade...where, all of a sudden, all a girl wants is "a boyfriend"! And they'll do anything to get the guy they like, that's cute, etc. I think that might be the age that guys get it in their head that they're God's gift to women....after all, "if she likes me, I must be pretty good!!", without them even having to try! High school the power starts to shift, guys try to get the girls to go to bed with them,

A lot of times (the majority of times, unfortunately), they will. And most of the time, it really is true, guys talk bad about the girl for it...occasionally, the girl gets to blab to all her friends about the guy...you know, he has an undescended testicle, and winds up with the nickname "Uno" or something...didn't everyone know someone like that?

Then they graduate, go to college, get a job, etc, and most women seem to get a lot more confidence, and realize that "Pee-shaw! He's a lot more trouble than he's worth!", and we take the hike. And understand that next time they want a guy they choose, not the guy who chose them!

What proves the fact that women have a lot more power than men do...if they'd just stand up and take it? Do you have any kind of clue how much money a guy will pay to go to a bar and see a girl be confident enough to dance and take her clothes off? And how intimidating would that be for a guy? Yeah, he loves to see it, he can talk like he's a big strong "guy", however...when it comes right down to it...who has the power here? The women making the money, or the men who are sitting there watching them dance naked...AND PAYING FOR IT!! I never see bars that have guys that dance naked every night, and women paying to see it! How is it 'degrading' to all women when they aren't the ones paying? Hmmmm....

Libby!

Friday!! and it's not raining!!

Now, the baby is funny as hell...that squirrel is just plain fucking sick!! Where do I find this disgusting shit??
I'm bored today. Yesterday Tiff & Zak brought Jenga (their papillon dog, and yes, she's been spayed!) over while they were going to be at work, so I 'babysat' for my grand-dog. She is so good and cute, she's actually the only dog I like!! I mean, she doesn't pee or poop in the house, she's nice, 'plays well with Truman', and only weighs about 12 lbs!
I was thinkin' today...what's some of the books you read when you were young, that you'd still read again? A few years ago, I bought a copy of 'The Phantom Tollbooth' from Amazon, and it was SO good to read it again!! I also had the whole hardcover set of all the Raggedy Ann & Andy books, the whole hardcover set of all the "Little House On The Prairie" books.I know they're in boxes in my mom & dad's basement now! Holy crap!! I just thought of that...where the hell am I gonna put 'em if I need to take 'em?? Oh, and I can't forget the old 'The Egg And I' book...and "Cheaper By The Dozen" (completely different and far better than the recent movies!)..."Helter Skelter"..."The Stand", which Mom bought for me when it first came out in the 70's, and I was home from school with the flu that day...! There are probably twice as many books over there as there are in here, since I don't drive anymore, I order my books from somewhere (usually eBay!), cuz I can't get back & forth to the library. Oh well...that was always one of the saddest days of my life, when I had to take the books back to the library. Even though I brought home a paper bag full every week and read all of them, I hated taking them back!! I guess that's always been one of my (many, probably!) pet peeves!! I HATE getting rid of ANY book, even if I'm not fond of the book, and will never read it again!! I can just see it now...someday, when they find my cold, dead body curled up dead at the bottom of a ceiling-high stack of books...I guess I'll finally be famous...you'll see me on the news some night and they'll be talking about "that crazy old lady that lived down on the corner"...
And, damn, I was just out in the kitchen digging through the freezer, and I found a whole sealed half gallon of Good Humor neapolitan ice cream! WooHoo!! Gotta go do something about this!
Libby!

Wed/Thurs...

WooHoo!! I just got done 'book shopping' on eBay...man, that is so much FUN!! I got an email reminder from ebay yesterday, telling me that I still have a couple gift certificates in my account from my birthday in December!! Okay, so I just went to Paypal & added it up...I sent a total of $21.00 including shipping to 3 different sellers, and I'll be getting 9 'like new' hardcover/ dust jacketed books in about a week! I can't wait!! The best buy I got was from the seller that had 7 books for $.01 + shipping! And, Dale, if you happen to be checking this out, well, in your honor, I bought that bunch of books because it had a James Archer book in there!
I'm not really proud of myself for what I'm choosing to watch on the tv in the computer right now *shudder*...I just turned it on "My Super Sweet Sixteen". I've probably lost every bit of respect I might have earned here in blogland, haven't I?
Mom came over yesterday afternoon with a thing of beef & noodles she made the night before. That's, like, my favorite thing to eat! Besides strawberry cookies & cream ice cream, & the ice cream bars...which, by the way, I had a quart of that ice cream for my 'appetizer' before dinner tonight...
So, this is an example of where I get my sick, stupid sense of humor...Mom was telling me about a joke she loves where there's a guy who is at his Mom's house, for some reason, he's on his deathbed. His brother walks in the room to talk to him, and asks if there's anything at all he can do for his brother before he dies. The dying one said, "Well, I can smell Mom making that strudel that I love. Would you go tell her I'd love a piece of that, that's the last thing I want to taste before I die?"
The brother goes back out into the kitchen, then comes back to the bedside. "Mom said No, it's for the guests after the funeral...".
See??? I had nothing to do with that inheritance!! I think she's really not all that worried about seeming 'proper' to me anymore. I love it! But I'm so sorry that we couldn't connect like this before she had stage 4 lung cancer. I also told her about the time Kim peed out the third floor attic window when we were about 14. She was a little bit shocked at that one, though. I said, "But Mom, it was at night, it was dark!", and she said 'but what about the cars that came down the street with their headlights on when the light changed?', I said, Well, I almost forgot about those...Even though we were on the phone at the time, I could see her shaking her head, burying her face in her hands....
Then I told her about the time Kim's little brother was purposely being a total little pain-in-the-ass. We chased him down, and then Kim held him down in the middle of the living room (her mom & dad weren't home and we were "babysitting" him), and she gave him the world's biggest hickey on his neck! We were 13 or 14 and he was 8, so I bet that went over like a lead balloon at school. I do know her mom almost killed her...
'Duggy' did get her back later, though. He pushed her in her closet in her bedroom upstairs & shut the door on her...which would have been fine, except it was one of those old-style closets with just a latch that locked when it was closed tight, and there wasn't any way to open it from inside! Then he went downstairs and left her, and nobody missed her until she didn't show up at the dinner table. Hence, the reason she's so claustrophobic now that she's never been able to get in a tanning bed...
Okay...it's late & I'm tired...
Libby

I'm sick of being CRANKY!!

Time to try to get outta my 'funk'! Kim called this morning, and that helped a lot. There's a lot of stuff going on in my life right now that is in addition to everything I've dumped on this blog. Yeah, my life is truly a train wreck right now...and it's nobody's fault but my own. Well, I didn't cause Mom or Dad's problems...or Psycho's either! but, you know what I mean...
I am so happy for Bro! It's so cool that he has everything in his life so well organized, with the business and all, that he & his family can just take off pretty much when they feel like it! Bro & his wife and their youngest daughter are going to San Diego this weekend, and staying for the 4th! What's wrong with this picture, hmmmm? Everything you read about 'birth order' says that the middle child is supposed to be the fucked-up one! Hmmmm...all the families I know, well, the middle one is the one that's outgoing & confident! And Kev's family is really lucky...not one of the three kids is fucked-up!! I think I qualify not only as the baby sister, but also as an only child, cuz by the time I was 10 or so, I was the only one home! That kinda translates into "a spoiled brat"!
And I read a big article a couple days ago that said the younger your mom was when you were born, the longer you'll probably live! It said that kids born to moms under 25 years old, have a 50%! higher chance of living to be 100!! Okay...good news/bad news time...Tiff's got it made, I was 18 when I had her...my mom was 42 when she had me! I guess I'm fucked here, too. Oh well...I see exactly what can happen when you get old, and I want nothing to do with that! Like I said before, I'm SO much more scared of living too long than of death.
Something else about having Tiff when I was 18...I had already graduated from high school earlier that year. Kevin didn't graduate til 1984 (she was born in 1983). And remember, even though we had gone to the same schools since 6th grade, we didn't know each other! After we got married, Kevin adopted Tiff, when she was 6.
Kev works at Verizon right now, doing a lot with the 'systems' and the computers & sales records, and, obviously, it's a big office, with mostly women there (probably about 300!). It's funny, cuz there have been women that work with him in that dept, that have had babies recently, and one time when one of 'em said something about her baby's dad being in the delivery room when the baby was born. Kevin just made a face and said, "Eeeeeewww...". Whereupon somebody asked him, "WHAT?? Where were you when Tiffany was born??". And he just told 'em with a straight face, "Probably study hall..."
All righty then...I think I'm gonna go read for awhile. I was digging through some books (yup, again with the books...), and I found a Robin Cook book called 'Seizure', that I was about halfway through, because I had left a bookmark in it. And that had to be about 6 months ago! But when I opened the book and looked in it, I remembered everything & everyone, & exactly what they were doing and why! Bonus!!
Libby!

...life's a big bad dream...

...and I just wanna wake up!!!

Anyway, Father's Day was rather eventful...

Tiff took me out to the nursing home so I could give Dad the card I made him, and say hi, then we were gonna go to the hospital and see Mom. So, we get to the home (it was sad, too...I didn't see as many visitors there as there should've been on Father's Day...). Anyway, it's a great big nursing home, and we had to go down 3 long halls to get to his room. We get there, and look around the open door, and Dad's bed is empty, and made! WTF??!!

We started walking around and looking, maybe he was eating, or visiting someone else's room...Stuck our heads in the dining room and he wasn't in there. Then we asked a nurse for him. She said, hey Cheryl! (Dad's nurse), where's Mr XXXX? Cheryl saw us, got a big smile, came over to us, and said "He's gone." Oh, she SO needs to work on how she says stuff, doesn't she??? She must've seen the looks on our faces, cuz she looked as shocked as we felt "Oh, no, no, no, I didn't mean THAT!! His son came & picked him up to go eat!!"

Obviously that meant Bro, not Psycho. So Tiff called Bro on his cell, and he answered, and they were over at his oldest daughter's house, and they had just had filets, baked potatoes, & vegetables (Dad's favorite Sunday dinner, & he DID EAT!) and wanted to take Dad to the hospital to see Mom, so we told him we'd meet them there. We all pretty much got there about the same time (was kinda funny...two wheelchairs [mine & Dad's]), hardly fit in the room with Mom's bed, and Tiff & Bro standing there too! We're all talking, laughing, etc. when all of a sudden we hear Psycho's boots stalking down the hall to Mom's room....Jesus-God, it sounded like the soundtrack to a Stephen King movie!! yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh all you want...we all did, after Bro & Dad & Tiff & I left. Psycho came in the room, looked around at us, and tossed a little bag of stuff on Mom's bed to her, and said 'I picked up the stuff you wanted from home.' muttered in a rather theatrical monotone. Tiff says, "What, Grandma? Underwear??" In her rather theatrical excited kid's voice. Which I KNOW Mom hated that...she did have a roommate! So, that was my cue..."Tiffany, she's in the hospital...Surely she knows enough to go commando HERE!!" lol! although, Mom didn't lol...she doesn't think it's proper to discuss underwear in mixed company" Psycho spent the next hour or so while the rest of us were there, propped up in the corner, with his arms folded, looking for all the world like a warden! once again...good thing he never, ever tried to go into the fucking customer service career path,, huh?

Then Bro & Dad & Tiff & I got ready to leave. Bro pushed Dad's w/c over beside Mom's bed cuz he wanted to kiss her . When they got there, they couldn't reach each other to kiss, so Bro tilted Dad's chair up and Mom leaned forward......really sweet as hell, then Tiff busts out with "Awww....it's a Kodak moment..." I think Bro & I almost both peed our pants!! Good thing he didn't drop Dad! HowEVER...after it was done, Psycho muttered 'She probably didn't need that...'Holy fucking shit with flies!! How can he possibly be related to me & Bro & Tiff (& Bro's 4 kids.). Thank God Bro & I have enough taste not to start a big screaming match right in Mom's hospital room. However, Tiff told me later that Psycho was muttering smartass remarks all the time we were there...and Bro was sitting in the chair right next to Tiff, and after every pearl of wisdom they caught, Bro whispered to Tiff "Shut up, you fucking ASSHOLE!!" Did I ever mention how much I LOVE him???

LibbY!

i guess i'm crabby again...

Nope...I guess I'm NOT myself today...the whole problem with that is...everybody must hate me today...shit, I hate myself when I feel like this!!
I called Mom this morning around 10:30 am, just to find out how she was. And Bro was there, to check on her on his way to the office, which was very cool! So I asked how she was after she'd said she didn't feel right yesterday. She feels good now...it was exactly what I told her...she had forgotten to take all her medicine yesterday am (heart stuff, blood pressure stuff, etc.). I told her yeah, you might not think it's doing anything, but trust me, it is!! With all my ms medicine, there's not too many people that know more about meds than me!! She said yeah. Then she said that she & Psycho were sitting at her house last night (after he took her out for dinner, mind you...), talking, and he was telling her about something, and she didn't understand it. So she said to him, she didn't understand, start over...and he, well, it seems to me, he got in a 'snit', and left and went home to his house! My God!! This Psychopath is 54 years old!! A 6 year old, I could see doing that...
Then, after we kinda skipped over that subject, cuz I know she gets defensive about him, she said "Oh, hold on. I think someone's here." She puts the phone down, then comes back and says, "No, it wasn't anyone..." Then she said, "I thought maybe it was Psycho, but it's not" (said with great disappointment, I must say). I said, doesn't he work? She said yeah, but sometimes he goes in late. Then she said, "I just feel bad...." Shit!! I told her Mom, you have NO REASON to feel bad!! all the while I'm thinking HE'S 54!!! She is 84, and has lung cancer, and she feels bad???
Of course, I told Bro about all that later when I called him, and he still feels the same as I do...(Psycho's a fuckin' ASSHOLE!), but we didn't say it we both know how the other feels. Actually, a few years ago, Psycho was over at Mom's on a Sunday, eating 'Sunday dinner' (that's big on my side of the family), with Mom & Dad, and Tiff was there too. And, to hear Tiff tell it, Dad was being himself, really gruff, crabby, telling everyone what to do, where to sit, etc...but...that's just Dad...we are ALL used to it, even Tiff! But I guess Psycho got up & pinned Dad to the wall in the kitchen (Dad's kitchen, remember?), and Tiff said he slapped Dad across the face, back & forth a few times!! She came home right after that...can't say I blame her! Dad was 80!! Bro just found out about that a couple months ago, & said he wished SO BAD that he had known about it at the time! He would've called the sheriff's office & had Psycho arrested right then!
And then Kim called me today...that didn't go all that great, either. I started to tell her what's up with Mom & Dad, but she actually said something smartass, & started laughing...I just said I was glad she found my family's problems so fucking humorous, and then said I had to go, bye. After I've been off the phone, I thought about it, and she really has no fucking clue what it's like to see Dad like this, I'm sure she still sees him like he was...still...okay...I'm cranky...
Libby

yeah, Wednesday...

The second shirt is the one I wish I had...I already have a t-shirt that says "Bite Me", but this says it better...
My lfe is getting more & more fucked up with every day that goes by. If you dont wanna be depressed, stop reading right here.

OK, I went & put on my t-shirt that says "Bite Me", and I feel better now!!
Bro called me this morning, & Mom has called me, she's bringing Bob Evans food over for breakfast, so I'll finish after..
Mom just now left...she was here for about two hours, but she really didn't talk to me much. I really tried to get her to open up & talk to me about everything. Mom's like the polar opposite of me.......even my cousin says she wouldn't say shit if she had a mouthful! I've told Mom, even before she was diagnosed with heart disease, that she better start letting her feelings out, cuz holding them in does NO good!!
Lemme start at the beginning of this 2 day debacle...yesterday afternoon, I was just getting out of the shower (at 4:30pm!), and Mom called. I had the cordless phone in the bathroom with me (always do that, in case I fall!). So I answered it, and listened to what she was saying. She really sounded upset about the fact that her chemo dr has her scheduled for a hearing test the day before she goes back for the chemo schedule. I told her that I understood why she was upset about that, cuz, actually, I don't think she gives a shit about her hearing, just work on her fucking cancer!! I'd feel just like that too!! I guess the dr wants this done, and it's important to him, so...I asked her if she had asked him why she was having this, and she said 'no...I'll ask him next time I see him...' Fine, but...next time she sees him will be the day after she goes to the other dr and has the hearing test!! OMG...I cannot tell her to say anything...well, I can tell her to, but she will not EVER open her mouth!
So, I came out here and sat down in the computer chair, cuz my Coke & cigarettes were out here and the battery on the cordless phone was running down...so, obviously, I'm freaking sitting here naked, with my legs up on the desk, all comfortable & everything, and all of a sudden I hear the front door open!
It was Kevin, and I told Mom Kevin just walked in, I should go get dressed. She said 'oh, yes! get dressed!'
I said, 'well, it's not that big of a deal...he's seen it before...' I left out the fact that that's maybe why we got married...
So, I called Bro this morning & told him how I talked to Mom yesterday, and she sounded strange...like there was something on her mind that she didn't want to say to me. He said he'd like me to try to get her to talk more...cuz, basically, the only person she's actually talking to is our older brother, Psycho.
It seems that Dad told Mom & Bro yesterday separately that he does NOT want the feeding tube, said if he gets it in his stomach, he'll just pull it out! Dad keeps asking (begging!) Mom to get him out of there everytime he talks to her! And Bro just found out yesterday that Psycho had left a note at the nurses station for Dad not to call home!! Grrrrrrr!!! Bro took that order off immediately!! Thank God for Bro, my NORMAL big brother!! My biggest question is WHY does Mom ONLY listen to her Psycho son?? Bro's wife & I call Mom regularly, as do Bro's kids & Tiff! But it's like she won't listen to anyone except her oldest son! Now it's starting to seem as if they both want Dad out of the house permanently! I asked her today,'Well...would you want Dad to do this to you?' She said no, but it's not the same...I don't know what to do....Bro told me this am that if he could, he'd just wash his hands of the whole thing...but he knows he can't!
LibbY!

Monday...phew...

This is SO EXACTLY what I feel like today!


And the woman above is putting up a sign that says "Lost Puppy". Well, it doesn't say it, per se...you have to read it...but you know what I mean...
How in the hell do Russians DO this shit?? Well, at least I waited til after noon...anyway...I was in the kitchen and saw a bottle of Smirnoff sitting...right there, I tellya! So I did what any normal thinking (bored) person would do. I poured a shot, and gulped it. Holy mother of God! And that's actually all there is to say about it. I've had rum...I like tequila (a little too much), I've tried scotch...I LOVE beer (again, too much)...but this shit had me leaning over the sink gagging & coughing!! My God!! What a fuckin' pussy!! I'm really glad nobody's home...
I haven't done shit this weekend...well, I did read the two books I ordered from Amazon last week. They're both by Paul Williams, and they're excellent! "Osama's Revenge", and "The Al Qaeda Connection". Not gonna say much more, but, if you read Al Qaeda Connection, that pretty much spells out why we should crack down on illegal immigration...
I'm pretty much done here...nothin' else to say...I haven't really talked to anyone this weekend, not Kevin, not Tiffany, nobody on the phone...that's probably a good thing, though, as bitchy as I feel...even Truman's avoiding me! Okay...done...
LibbY!

Friday June 9

Okay...now...who in blogland should get this haircut??

It's kinda been a long week. Tiff & I went to the nursing home Wed to visit Dad, and he seems like he's even worse. It's like he's 'fading away'. Not just as in losing more weight (which he is), just, mentally, he isn't here...it's not that he is crazy or Alzheimer-like, or even dementia. He's doing nothing but sleeping, probably 20 hrs out of the day, except when somebody's there. And even when we were there, his nurse got him in a wheelchair, cuz they have a salon there in the building, and it's open 3 days a week for the people that live there. It was closed Wednesday, but we had set it up so that Tiffany could use it to cut Dad's hair out there using that room. They let her do it because she has her salon manager's license. We took him there, and Tiff started cutting his hair, and his head just nodded down until his chin was on his chest, & he was snoring. So she went ahead & cut the back while he was sleeping, and then had to wake him up and make him look ahead so she could do the front.

Dad didn't really talk at all while we were there. Not because he was mad at us or anyting, just...well, I don't think he has the strength to talk. He did whisper once, to ask if Tiffany wanted paid for doing his hair. Cuz, like I've said, money is important for him (I think cuz he didn't have any when he was young, and when he got older & started working, he had enough for anything, even supported his family up in Michigan for years.) Of course she said no, Grandpa! He kept looking at her, like he thought he should anyway, until she finally said, no, Grandma gave me a twenty dollar tip yesterday, and that is plenty to cover this too! So then we took him to the dining room, they were serving lunch. They put a plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and a vegetable that looked like sliced up zucchini (bleeaaahhh! I knew he wouldn't want that...hell, I wouldn'tve eaten it if I was being PAID to!!), and a cup of pudding & a bowl of Jello, and a glass of milk (whole milk! I looked at the paper that came with the food to see! Cuz if there's a real important thing he needs, it's FAT!!) But anyway, Tiff had taken the seat between us (she is, and always has been 'Grandpa's girl', even though Bro has 3 girls, 2 of whom are older), and she just leaned over and picked up his spoon, & started feeding him. OMG, I am so proud of her! She's very thoughtful, especially of older people. I told Kevin about that later, and said, well, maybe when WE get old(er), she'll be nice to us, ya think? He just snickered...

Dad ate like 1 bite of meatloaf, 2 bites of potatoes, & half the pudding, half the Jello, and drank half the glass of milk, & his nurse said that was WAY more than he usually eats! I swear, he''s gotta be around, maybe 95 lbs now. It's not that they're starving him out there, or anything. But I do know that he's not only told Bro that he's tired, just wants to sleep now, and his younger sister (8 kids in his family!) the same thing when she was down here to see him.

After we got done with his lunch, we had to take him out in the hallway to wait for the transport van to pick him up, cuz he had an appointment with a doctor at a hospital, Mom & Bro's son were meeting him there. It's to talk to the actual surgeon who would be putting in his feeding tube. But I thought about it all afternoon after I got home, and even though Dad said yes to it when they talked about it a few weeks ago, I thought more & more...would it actually be nicer & more loving, since I now do think he's having a hard time thinking clearly after the mini-strokes he had a couple weeks ago...should we let him just do what he's doing and not eat, until he possibly dies from it? I guess he did say yes he wanted a feeding tube...but that was about a month ago...so now, who knows??? He is 88 years old, and his mind still seems to be there, he just can't talk above a whisper now...but I think his brain still works...after all, the times that Tiff and I have gone out there, he always tells Mom we were there...and knows who has come to see him all the time. Shit, I just don't have a clue what to think! Damn, damn, dammit!! Fuck, fuck, fuck....with a 'horsepiss' thrown in there too! I was gonna call Bro, to get his opinion, but I called his office, and they said he's in Vegas til Sunday. I forgot he was going, it's been planned for a long time, he's taking his two oldest daughters out...one graduated from college, and his oldest daughter just got her master's degree. My head is just all fucked up, trying to figure out WHAT to think!!

LibbY!

6-5-06

All right. Is everybody ready for tomorrow? You know, 6-6-06...I know where I'd go if I could drive..yeah, I'd go straight to Hell (the town in Michigan). I bet they're gonna have fun there tomorrow!

http://www.hell2u.com/whats_happening.htm

Okay, okay, lemme see now...ok, last one....traded it in right after this...
One evening, I was out drinking with a former boyfriend (call him John...most Johns on here are assholes, anyway) in a town he lived in that was about 15 miles away from where we worked (yeah, he was the assistant manager of the store I worked at). We were out with a lot of other people, just going around to a bunch of places. Well, when it got to be around 1:30 am, we all decided we were done, and left to go home. I took John home (to his mommy's house...he was about 23), and I took off down the road to my town, which was still an hour south. I got down the road about halfway home, to where I had to get off the 2 lane road I was on from his town, to get onto the 4 lane highway for the second 1/2 hour to my town. Just as I got off the 2 lane and went down the ramp to the good highway, well, guess what...yup...good old Ivan just never failed me...he stalled!! Remember...it was like 2 in the morning! And there I sit, in my faithful (:-/ ) little Yugo, in the 'breakdown' lane. I think those were probably named after Yugos.
So there I sat, way before cell phones or anything, looking over at the sheriff's office in the town there...but it was about 5 miles away, across fields, and, dammit, I was tired! I sat there trying to figure out what to do, kinda wishing that a cop would pull up, and they could take me there. But then I saw headlights in the rearview mirror, and just kept watching. Pretty soon, I saw that it was a semi, and I was really relieved. Remember, if you EVER have to get a ride with a stranger, there's actually nobody safer to get a ride with than a truck driver! He came up beside the car, and I almost figured it was a truck driver who recognized my Yugo, for heaven's sake, but it wasn't. He gladly gave me a ride back to the sheriff's office, and I got out and called John, and he came and picked me up & took me home. (we got the car the next day). Grrrrrr!!! Okay, that's about it for the Yugo stories. Maybe one more, but that's gonna be the one where I finally trade it in!!
LibbY!
never forget now... Jesus loves you....but I'm his favorite!

Friday...'bout time!

Time for another Yugo story, everyone!!

One morning I was driving to work. The town my job was in was kind of an 'intersection' of a whole bunch of highways, going everywhere! I came in on one highway that I took from my town, and when I entered my 'work town', the road I was on went downhill, and there was a three way stop at the bottom, and the other two streets came in under 2 overpasses. All well and good, until I counted on the Yugo...I went down to the stoplight, and the Yugo just kinda died on me. And no, I was NOT out of gas!
I sat there for probably 5 to 10 minutes, trying to get that f*n' piece of shit started, while being laughed at the whole time by everybody in the cars that were going around me. How humiliating! And the people in the cars didn't even have to see me, all the people that ever went past the store I worked at in the middle of town knew that car was mine!! And this was only a 2 lane road, so it was a total pain-in-the-ass for anybody to wait til the left lane was clear, then pass, and most of the time, by the time they got around me the stinkin' light was red, and they had to stop!!
Finally, a nice truck driver took pity on me, and instead of going around me, got out of his truck and walked up by my window, and asked if I needed a ride to wherever I was going. I said "Sure!", & got out of the car, slammed the door without locking it, and went back to the truck & got in. We rode down to my store, and I got out at the light at that corner, went in, and my manager met me at the front door, and asked what the hell I was doing. And where was my car?? I just looked at him, and said, "Well, M, come on back to the break room and siddown, and I'll tell ya!"
So I'm in the middle of the story, and all of a sudden, the huge head cashier that I scared that one time by hiding in the safe, yelled back that I had a phone call. I went up to the office & got the phone...it was a freakin' cop, and he wanted to know if the Yugo was my car...I said yeah, but I don't admit it much...don't tell anyone...He said it was good that I left the door unlocked, cuz they'd had to have the car towed. (thank you! one more thing I sure didn't have time to mess with! lol!) I think the way it ended up was that M took me to where the car was, and I had to call somebody to have it fixed. Then when I finally got it home here, Dad came & got it and left his car with me for work the next day. And, damn, the next day he had his mechanic guy put a new engine in it!! Dad thought he was doing something really nice (which he really was), but, honestly, I just wanted to take the car back to where I got it, and tell them to stick it up their ass!
Libby

thursday...

Okay, more pictures...

...and I hope nobody needs to be told that NONE OF THESE ARE MINE!!! By the way..Happy Half-Naked Thursday??

All right...I thought I'd post these things on here because everybody thinks 'I'm a troublemaker', and Kim was the only person to 'reap the dubious benefits' of it. HA!! I reaped puh-lenty of the benefits myself!! But, I thank God every day that I never paid for it...unless that's what my ms is...

Adventures with my Yugo (that I was stupid enough to buy after my Honda was totalled).

The first week I went back to work after the car accident that took my WONDERFUL 1982 Honda Civic (grrrrr!), believe it or not, the Yugo drove great, even though I drove over 100 miles every day, because I worked 55 miles north of the town I live in (& always have). So any car had to be dependable, with the amount of miles I put on it! (it usually ended up being about 1,000 miles a week! but I friggin' LOVED to drive!).

The week after that, the stupid red Yugo (that I had already named Ivan! as in, Ivan the red...Ivan the terrible...) just sputtered and stopped on the highway on the way to work...on top of an overpass! Luckily, it was only about 5 miles north of town (thank goodness!), so, after uttering many, many choice swear words, I pulled the car over to the side of the road, got out, locked it, gave it a good hard kick, and ran down the hill at the side of the overpass, cuz it was only 5 miles into town by that road down there, plus, maybe I'd be able to get to a repair shop that way. (this was how life was before cell phones, kids!). So I'm walking down this two lane highway at 7:15 am, knowing that I was going to be late to work (sigh...I knew my store manager wouldn't get mad, though...), and about 5 minutes into the walk, I heard a car coming from behind me, headed into town. That was kind of surprising, that road was usually empty at any time of the day, so I turned around and looked, and backed off the road out of the way. Surprise, surprise, the car went past, then stopped, backed up, and the guy leaned over in the front seat, and rolled down the window. Of course, it WAS an old "hoopty car", as people call 'em now. But he asked me if I wanted a ride into town, and, hoopty or not, it ran better than the Yugo at the moment. I got in, and he started talking, asking why I was walking, etc...(keep in mind...this guy was creepy looking, creepy with a capital creep!). I kept the discussion up, just cuz he was nice enough to give me a ride, then we started talking about our jobs, and I told him what I did and asked what he did, & he said he was in the hazardous material cleanup business! Then I really looked in the backseat, and saw a can that looked like a paint can, only it was labeled "Hazardous waste material! Do not touch!!" and it had a skull & crossbones on it!! Holy shit!!

As soon as we got to the edge of town, I made my excuses, told him thanks, he asked for my phone number, I cheerfully gave it to him (transposing the last 2 numbers, of course!). Once I was out of the car, I could breathe again!! And I went to the closest gas station and, of course, called Dad, he came & got me, called his favorite repair guy (who we got to know well over the next couple months!), and, well, I drove Dad's car to work after I took him home, my car was towed and fixed (thank you, Daddy!!), and there's more about this car in the future...

Libby

....

All right...that cat with its nasty nuts hanging out totally creeped me out too much!! Back to some funny pictures....

Kim called me today and said, "What'd ya want?" I said WTF are you talking about?? She said "your message said you wanted to tell me something..." I finally figured out that I had called Kim's number earlier, instead of my mom's, but I thought it was my mom's number!!

All Kim said after I told her that I meant to call Mom instead, was..."Alzheimer's..."

Well, the only new stuff that's up is that Dad saw his regular dr yesterday & he did a cat scan and said that Dad had had a series of small strokes in the last week. That explains a lot, and in my opinion, he's in the right place now because he's always had a fear of strokes, almost all of his brothers died from them.

However, his doctor said that if Dad's not gonna eat or drink (which he won't...he's severely dehydrated now....), he's gonna put a feeding tube in his stomach (think Terri Schiavo, except Dad could eat if he wanted to!). So that's what's gonna happen soon.

Meanwhile, Mom's doctors are working to schedule chemo for her. That's probably gonna start in the next week or so...

Another Kim & Libby as 15/16 yr olds story...

After Kim decided she wanted to go to the vocational school in town here, cuz she said "I'm not smart enough for college, anyway" I think she could've been better than her grades in school showed, she just didn't want to study (read-too lazy to study)..but...just my opinion. I was told I was smart enough for college, but I just didn't want to go, so I threw a fit at home and Mom & Dad let me transfer out there too, even though I was in accelerated classes geared toward college, as long as I took the data processing class. Kim was in a secretarial class, right next to the class I was in. It was one great big room with typewriters at every desk, computers at our desks (you know...the 'smart kids' class..lol)...and, yes, we had to write computer programs in the BASIC language..soon to be followed by COBOL...shit..how old am I now?

Anyway, so Kim and I sat at two desks that were next to each other, even though we were in different classes, and I was always making smartass remarks to her about her teacher (who honestly WAS a total ditz). So we were always making fun of her, even when her teacher went to my teacher, & they conspired to move my desk!! It's amazing how many times an hour I was able to walk over by Kim! Mostly because my teacher thought her teacher was as stupid as we did!! He even told us! Finally, we must've pushed Mrs B over the edge, cuz Mom cornered me after school one night and said the school called and she & Kim's mom, both of us, & Mrs B were meeting the next morinng at 9 in Mr P's office (he was the superintendent!), and she practically cried (well,ok, she did cry) "what did you do THIS time, Libby??" Crap! Can't that teacher take it?? What a WIMP!!

So, we had the meeting, we talked our way out of trouble because not only was her teacher crying, Mom was too...and Mr P pretty much wrote the whole thing off as "women's vapors". Kim's mom just got pissed at Kim, and told her "quit hanging around with Libby! She's a troublemaker!" Well, okay, I was, but, you hafta remember...I was the idea person...Kim was the one that would actually DO it, if it sounded funny!! And the Kim & Libby sagas go on today...

Libby